The Road

For years, friends have been critisizing me for having 'unclassy' inclination towards today's popular literatures. Meaning, I only read those tie-in books with soon-to be released Hollywood adaptation of them.

While there maybe a certain truth to that, I have to admit, I gravitate towards neat packages and great marketing. I believe great cover usually translates a great story - always judge a book by its cover (no matter how incredulous it sounds). So yeah, I guess maybe I am not that classy, so deal with it.

Anyhow, by being a little ahead of the movie premier, I got to complain, whine and point snoobishly to my friends, if and when, the movie version isn't as good or not up to my "expectations". Now, that feels good, isn't it?

So having said that, my current "squeeze"- in the most literature and Hollywood sense is - The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

The story is pretty simple. It follows a man and his son who are trying to get to the coast (where the 'good people' are) when the world has been burnt to the ground and the bad guys are trying to find and kill them.

And when I said 'simple', by golly, it really means simple. All the characters have no names or at least purposely never mentioned for the duration of the book. The book also never discussed what happened or caused the apocalyse and why. In this world, things are bleak. Really, really bleak, with the land bereft of nearly all plant and animal life. The only thing that get our hero going, is the love he has for his son, who by the way is too young to understand the calamity around him.

I think The Road is the book that has affected me more strongly than any other. In the most brutally bleak post-apocalypse scenario that could ever be envisioned, a father and son trying to stay alive, plodding on, weighed down by constant misery and fear because it's all they can do. Cormac McCarthy has broken pretty much all issues in life to their bare, terrible bones. Father and son, removed from all context of family or home, are like two dogs watching out for one another. Memories are everywhere and yet so distant.

There’s no why: whatever catastrophe took place is essentially unexplained, and it doesn’t matter anyway because the ruin of the world is so complete that they often seem out of recognizable time and space altogether.

And O yes, I got misty eyes, cough, cried once or twice not because seeing the death of humanity but rather foreseeing how Hollywood is gonna make out of this terribly fantastic take on life and yet managed to be so profound.

Why Don't You Like Me?

Sometimes I wonder how important is it for everyone to like me. I know it's incredible shallow and stupid to expect everbody to like and approve everything I do, but knowing you do get attention, once in a while, makes a lot of different, don't you think? Shamelessly, I want to feel included.

While trying not to be the egomaniacal, universe-revolves-around-me kinda friend, I aware enough to know I want to be the centre of this 'little' circle.

That is why, lately, it bothers me a lot when friends kept on 'forgetting' to include me in their get-together or social events. I should expect excuses to my quiries would range from "We thought you were busy", "You wouldn't enjoy it anyway" to "It's raining, we don't want to bother you", but when the excuses went a little too far-feched to be believe in like "We forgot", I am beginning to wonder whether it's all about me.

Maybe I am paranoid, or maybe I am not, but the fact is I haven't even seen some of them in months! (name that rhyme with schearman)

OK, I really should stop whining now, it probably wasn't as bad as I make it up to be. Maybe I am really an overacting paranoid. But for whatever it is, from now on, I have come out with my own 'policy' when it comes to friends. It's called DON'T CALL, DON'T ASK, UNLESS INVITED. People, well, as it says, it simply means that I won't call or ask to join anything anymore, well, unless I was clearly invited. Otherwise I take it my presence isn't needed.

A tad too emotional eh? I know it's bound to be controversial, but I hope everyone understand that I was merely protecting my interest, if you know what I mean.

Come on, it's not like you don't see this coming miles away already.

And admit it, it's a little catchy, isn't it?

What Life Would Never Tell Us

I am worried about my mental health. Of late I have become increasingly forgetful and quite likely...um, deranged!

I had a Oh-So-Classic-Me experience the other day – my brain was stolen. I was at the petrol station when suddenly I couldn’t start the engine. I couldn’t even roll down the freaking window!

My “A-ha” moment only came much later when I was franticaly flipping through the car manual and read under the subject “Driving for morons”. As it turned out to be, I accidently locked the steering and – damn - forgot how to go about and unclock it! How's that for a little revelation? A terrifying age-related phenomenon like this would most likely to cause maximum humiliation, I tell you.

No, I am not going senile, I just need a mental work-out. That’s one of the things I need to figure out from today on. And No, carrying a little black book around would be out of question - it's trampling my style, people! Maybe, just maybe, I should seriously consider a brain transplant.

Annoyingly, it’s easy to remember useless stuff like the words to a crap song like 'Put A Ring On It' or what Akon’s middle name is but our own IC number can be real struggle. Sigh, I don't get this, but you know what, just like what Ms.Whitney Houston used to sing, “Life never tells us the whens or whys”, so I guess I should let it go.

I never used to be such a ditz. Now, I can barely even remember how to pull a steering?

Wait, did I say I forget how to unlock a secured car steering?

You Really Don't Know What You've Got.....

People come and people go. That's one of the things that kinda certain - like death, love and to some......taxes. It's an unwritten promise to us as long as we believe in Heaven and Hell.

For as long as I live in this world, I've welcomed a lot of people in my life and for that matter too, quite a number of people that I had, urm, you know, disowned. I don't blame anyone for how things had turned up. I believe they happened for a reason and most of the time I love to believe it's for my own good too.

So I don't have any regret. I just move on and go on to other things. It has saved me a lot of headache. Now that I've grown wiser and have a good grasp of that little fact of life, I've come to another revelation - other people move on too!

See, I told you my boss is leaving soon. The one that I adore soo much. The one too, that at first I refused to believe the news and the one I chose to ignore.

Now, I have come to my realization, I was being unfair. I am beginning to understand why would she want to leave and I - eventhough still digesting - would 100 % support her decision. If it's good for her career so who am I to be in her way? I certainly won't be the one who's going to stop her dream.

I guess I was a little bit selfish then. I admit, it was more about me than it was about her. OK fine, she's probably the best boss anyone could ever has, more like a friend to me. And when she nurtures, she is reminded me of my favourite teacher, and when she gossips, man, isn't she really gossipping! She's the one who taught me 'there's only so much you can do about your work, but the real life only starts at 5.30pm!

Boy, I am soo gonna miss her presence. I wish her well, I really do.

It got me thinking, maybe she's going to miss me too?

I Got Ego!

I am a very private person. I don't do Oprah-style, heart-to-heart revelation about my own life. I don't whine around unnecessary and I hate sharing my "deep thoughts" and "inner feelings" to the world, except maybe to a few close friends and family members that I truly trust - even then I exercise restraint. OK I got ego!

In many ways, I guess that's why I have this blog - where I can "whine unnecessary" to exactly 'no one', plus I don't have to be coy about it. What I really mean is (cough!) I don't tell people about my failure and I don't share my problems to others, well, at least not until they find about it themselves! Again, my gigantic ego!

So, as I told so many times through many channels and mode of communications before, last night was our Annual Corporate Dinner, in which I was one of the committees.

OK, let me first to break the news to you - last night was disaster, just to put it midly. And how to put it as it was?

First, the show ran a little bit longer than was planned for and I could clearly see people, especially VIPs keep fidgeting on their seats. Then, the so-called 'gimmick' fell flat on the nose, the hotel refused to give a much bigger changing room for the performers, the AV people made a giant mistake by putting the projectors in front of the stage and I donned an mismatched sequined orange shawl (horror!)

But the biggest blunder of all, anyone could ever imagined, was the main highlight of the evening - the invited, award winning singer/performer failed to turn up. The reason: tak sihat, sedang berehat di bilik.

It was one of the nights I would like to forget - forever. I wish I knew a good neuro surgeon.

I maintain I am a very private person. So for those who's planning to see me soon, please don't ask me about the details. This is the most 'intimate' details you could ever get from me. Allow me to digest the whole debacle first before I can even show off my humiliating self around the block again.