Sunday, June 27, 2010

Gives You Hell

After all those years of getting pushed around by people who thinks they are better than me just because they're “less curvy" than I am, today I got news for them - unbelievably, super-exciting, awesome news;

I lost a kilo! Yeah!

Oh my God! I cannot freaking believe it! It feels as if I just found the cure of cancer or discovered a new continent or both. I feel so light, so up in the air a bird’s feather or H1N1 virus or something. Okay, not exactly true. I was being dramatic a bit, but I am definitely ready to move up a notch on the totem pole of our shallow, superficial social rank.

Maybe, a kilo lost, to other people, isn’t something remotely worth telling Oprah or Ellen about. You would probably say, 'Those people in 'The Biggest Loser' lost almost in 8kg in a week! And that IS news”. Okay, let’s being realistic here, people, I will never be able to lose that much weight in that short time period, not even if I eat nothing but nails; nor will I subject myself to that insanely torturous training with that equally insane, torturous muscular woman trainer. But, a kilo lost is still a lost, right?

I know my mom wouldn't be so hot on the idea. She hates to see me lost my "curve”. In fact, the other time she made me promised up and down, that I wouldn't do anything stupid like, chopping my limps or chugging a pack of nails to lost weight. For her, human’s overall health and well-being is solely depended on our ability to stock up fat in our body to keep us warm. Oh my, I seriously think my mom is mistaken the human’s anatomy with that American grizzly bear’s.

But today I wouldn’t want to worry her with this petty stuff, she has another, more important thing on her mind. My sister just delivered a healthy, beautiful baby boy. I can't wait to come home, see the baby, and hold him in my soon-to-be toned arms. I kinda promised myself I wanted to set a good, healthy example to my nephew. No more bad food, no more bad choices in my 'physical activities’.

Now, between my mom and that American grizzly bear, I have to confess the "real” reason why I am all hyped up about this 1 kilo thing is, urm, in point of fact, I really want to please my doctor. No, wait, my health. I need to look after my health! O you know what I mean.

The only reason, I guess, the doctor is on my case about exercise, lose weight and all that, is because she cares about me. (She probably wonders how I would look like if I am trimmer and leaner, like all the time, wink! wink!). That is why; I am going to see her again for the follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, by then, I’ll be able to lose a couple of kilos more and make all her wishes come true. YES, I can do this!!

And to anyone who wants to be negative and says I can’t do this, I got another news for you, or rather, more like the words from track no 2, off the CD I just bought this afternoon.

When you see my face, hope it gives you hell,
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell!!

Cause, in a matter of few weeks, you will got nothing more on me!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Extreme Jealousy

School holiday is over. That’s it. The best things about it - like the smoother traffic flow and un-crowded shopping mall - are over. Now, all my friends are starting flocking back to the office from their overseas trips. And I am SO not looking forward to this.

I don’t know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it’s hard for me to get interested in other people’s holidays, especially that, most of the time I don’t have anything to share back with them, except the ‘uohs’ and the ‘ahhhs’.

I’ve been trying to come up with an angle to separate myself from the rest of the gang like pretending to be extremely busy or really sick with some unknown contagious illness but it’d never fly with them. They always thought I was just acting up - quite possibly due to extreme jealousy. Pah!

The horrible truth is; people when they got back from holiday, they always like to cram it down my throat with whatever ‘exciting’ stories and the fads that are going on over there, over and over again. It’s really annoying.

And they sure seem like to enjoy torturing me even more when they put out their holiday photo albums, complete with an unofficial self-appointed tourist guide explaining every freaking single photo that usually would take one whole, torturous day! Duh, as if I need someone else to tell me the different between a kangaroo and koala bear?!

I guess, the only good thing that usually would come out of it is the mementos. I put a lot of effort buttering people up for the past few months and I hope it would pay off. So like moths get drawn to a light, me and a bunch of my other poor, single friends gathered around ‘the lucky ones’ the minute they opened the gift bag.

It wasn’t so stinky after all. Usually I get really crummy gifts like an expired chocolate bar or miniature chihuahua doll that lost an eye. Or some really girly pink pen that never work.

Great, now I have to say thank you and start a small talk. You know, butter up.

"Hey Mus, where did you go for the holiday?”

"Planet Pandora. Actually I was being abducted by aliens. They let me stay in their beautiful resort by the beach, in exchange for my consent on the anal probe".

Pause. Her eyes twitched.

"Anyway, I hope you like your plush toy”.

Now that ‘extreme jealousy’!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Because I Can

People asked me why I rarely talked about other people other than myself in my blog - to which I, egotistically yelped, “Because I can”. Well, as moronic as the question was, I just have this one thing to clear up; the blog is called Mus The Great for no other reason other than to serve my ego.

Plus, if you want to talk about other people you’ve got to be willing to offend, unintentionally or not, because whatever you say or write here will tend to be misinterpreted or taken out of context.

Still, once in a blue moon, I can’t help ranting about someone I know on this page - again, like I said - because I can.

There are a lot of things going on in my life lately. So much dramas and in-fighting around me. Honestly I am still trying to figure out what true friendship is, and it breaks my heart to see my friends going through some dark places in their life. I wanted to help, I just don’t know how.

You see, I was torn. I don’t want to be in the middle of things and irrevocably make it even worse. Or maybe secretly I hoped it’ll heal by themselves. So I just mugged it up.

I'm one of those people: I'm tired, I'm not that ambitious anymore. So a moment like this will come up and I'll just play my invisible role and do my best to stay out of it. Maybe it goes exploding on my face, but I don't take responsibility. I just walk away from it.

I spent a lot of time when I was younger dissecting other people’s problems and, going: "Oh, maybe you shouldn’t have done that, what if you had done it this way," to the point where, just for my mental health, I had to stop. I was very critical. It drove me nuts.

Driving home at the end of the day yesterday however, I was like, "Oh my God, I am an awful person. I should at least acknowledge their problems. I should have listened to them more. They are my friends. dammit."

Try to think about it; They have a big enough ego, yet they're willing to go out and also be vulnerable enough to fail in front of you. The least you can do, is to be there for them. And I should listen and be there for them now not only because I can, but because it's the right thing to do.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I Promise I Won't Bite

There are dozens of things that should upset me more than the introduction of GST by our government or that my car was being scratched by some idiots this morning but, deadly Israeli raids notwithstanding; being lied to several times by someone you consider “friend” really annoys the hell out of me.

Why there was a need to lie to someone when you thought trust and respect were what bonds us in the first place? I am perplexed.

While I am most certainly won’t be sharing any of that intimate detail here, I just hope a logical, reasonable and grown-up explanation that set off the lying from that friend of mine, would come forward to me soon. You know, just for my own education and closure.

I guess the part that hurt me the most was, not only the act of lying itself, it was more on how I perceived on why she compelled to do what she did – she hates me! Yeap, she would do and say anything to keep away from me. That’s how I see it. Why else anyone would commit that friend-averse attitude?

And the other thing sucks real bad was how she lied. The lies were so bad, as if they were all scripted by preschooler, or that she thought I was a preschooler! Is there something she not telling me? Why she risks a friendship by lying to not see me? I am appalled.

If you have something to say to me, girl, well you better say it now. Don’t patronize me. I am a grown man, I can take the truth. In fact, I tell you, I rather take the painful truth, than be treated this way. I don’t appreciate your condescending ways. And please don’t tell me craps like 'we don’t want to bother you’ or ‘we thought you were checking in the hospital’ cause it doesn’t work with me anymore.

Not cool.

Yes, some of my friends are really loveably annoying. They like to pretend they like me when sometimes they don’t or they are being nice to me just because they have to (Yes I do have that clinical complex to be liked by everyone). But please, I also know that I am not perfect either. I can be annoying sometimes too. So it’s sure nice if, once in a while, a friend would point out that imperfectness of mine to me. Just tell me the truth.

I promise I won’t bite.