I don’t know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it’s hard for me to get interested in other people’s holidays, especially that, most of the time I don’t have anything to share back with them, except the ‘uohs’ and the ‘ahhhs’.
I’ve been trying to come up with an angle to separate myself from the rest of the gang like pretending to be extremely busy or really sick with some unknown contagious illness but it’d never fly with them. They always thought I was just acting up - quite possibly due to extreme jealousy. Pah!
The horrible truth is; people when they got back from holiday, they always like to cram it down my throat with whatever ‘exciting’ stories and the fads that are going on over there, over and over again. It’s really annoying.
And they sure seem like to enjoy torturing me even more when they put out their holiday photo albums, complete with an unofficial self-appointed tourist guide explaining every freaking single photo that usually would take one whole, torturous day! Duh, as if I need someone else to tell me the different between a kangaroo and koala bear?!
I guess, the only good thing that usually would come out of it is the mementos. I put a lot of effort buttering people up for the past few months and I hope it would pay off. So like moths get drawn to a light, me and a bunch of my other poor, single friends gathered around ‘the lucky ones’ the minute they opened the gift bag.
It wasn’t so stinky after all. Usually I get really crummy gifts like an expired chocolate bar or miniature chihuahua doll that lost an eye. Or some really girly pink pen that never work.
Great, now I have to say thank you and start a small talk. You know, butter up.
"Hey Mus, where did you go for the holiday?”
"Planet Pandora. Actually I was being abducted by aliens. They let me stay in their beautiful resort by the beach, in exchange for my consent on the anal probe".
Pause. Her eyes twitched.
"Anyway, I hope you like your plush toy”.
Now that ‘extreme jealousy’!
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