Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Well, anyway, yesterday, I opened the lid and picked up something from the jar. And what do you know, it says “I have a wonderful parent who never stop loving me’. They do. They really do now that I finally realized it.
O no, this is not like some kind of personal blabbering or anything like that but it’s about things we take for granted. Things we have that, more often than not, fail to appreciate, until they are really gone.
My father arrived unexpectedly in KL on Saturday afternoon. I must admit I, at first, felt a little hesitant. Don’t blame me. He never visited us (me and brother) unannounced before. So I was a little bit suspicious. Plus, I had already made plan elsewhere.
“Apa mimpi datang tiba-tiba ni?” I asked half innocently.
“Takde apa....just want to visit 2 of my most favorite sons. You don’t like me here?”
“Of course, yes. Err.. I mean No”
You know what, I was still not convinced.
Apparently, he also had other plans in mind.
Right after I picked him up at Puduraya, he said he wanted to visit his mother’s grave (my arwah grandma), then, his cousin’s and brother-in-law’s, which I obliged.
Then, I sent him to my aunt’s house for him to freshen up and we went straight to visit his other sister (also my aunt) at University Hospital. She was warded for a week now due to some kidney’s complications, which I also obliged.
The next morning, we visited my cousin (his niece) who had just delivered a beautiful baby boy a couple weeks ago in Cyberjaya. We spent half a day there.
Man, it was tiring – this family affair. But it was all worth it. At the end of it, my dad ‘surprise’ visit was really a nice one. I have never been felt so close, so connected with him, or the entire clan for that matter, than it is now. He seemed soo pleased that I wanted to accompany him over the weekend- he said so.
He planned it all along. I knew it. He thought we should connect. We did things together. We went shopping together. We talked about a lot of things, which we rarely do (which mostly about my most embarrassing baby’s moment). My brother had a blast of time hearing all those ‘funny’ stories, but sure he had his moment too.
Boy, am I really glad that he came.
Few hours that I spent with him throughout the weekend really makes me appreciate more of what I have been blessed for all of my life. But sometimes, in the heat of it all, I tend to forget that fact. So I ‘collect’ all my blessings and ‘jar’ it. It should be kept in an easy-to-reach place so that anytime I need some ‘sane-checking’ I know where to go.
I looked again and the note still says “I have a wonderful parent who never stop loving me”. Yeah, of course they do, but I think I love them more.
I couldn’t stop smiling as I folded that little note and put it right back in the jar. I feel blessed.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Wow, how thoughtful of her. I mean of all things in the world she could buy for gift?!
Oh no, it’s not my birthday. No reason she said. No occasion. She probably bought the book in a wink and later probably regretted it. Or maybe some poor guy bought the book to break up with her.
Or maybe she really wanted to help me to lose weight. Right.
But being a sport and grateful person, I am quite alright with it. After all, I am a little on heavy side (she probably couldn't stress it any better), and probably could use some help. And what a ‘help’ that is.
Well, sister, I Thank you for this ‘little’ gift. I wish you well too. Hope this would work for me, and by that I mean, it better be, otherwise you are still gonna pay for my car tires that you punctured the other day.
So on to page 1,
Part I: Why Atkins works (Oh No!)
Lose weight! Increase energy! Look great! This book will show you how it’s done.
Not only that, it will show you to change your life once and for all.
You hold in your hands a book that has sold more than ten millions copies since 1992. Probably two to three times that number of people say it’s the most effective weight loss plan they’ve tried. It is!..........................
Sigh, here we go again.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I, then decided, it was not worth making a big spectacle out of it and so without saying a word, I dragged Kiki and Lulu to my room and closed the door. I heard huffing and grumbling outside but I remained quiet.
" I don’t know what makes he really hates you so much”. I said as I hold both of them close in my arms “but it’s OK, you know I love you”. Immediately I felt warm and fuzzy inside. I felt safe.
O in case you are wondering, Kiki and Lulu are my pillows - my most favorite things in the world.
Till now, I still don’t understand why my housemate mad at me so much. He thought I was being childish and disgusting. He can't see why I am still keeping that beat up pillows of mine after all these years without even wanting to get a new one. Yes, people I can afford to get a pair of new pillows, I just chose not to. These pillows had become part of me now, so much so I even have names for them. They are so huggable, so warm I feel so homey and cozy whenever I am near them.
Doesn't he get it? Everybody has their own favorite things. You know, like favorite teddy bear, favorite blanket, favorite toy or even favorite underwear. So why makes a big fuss about my two quite-innocent, limpy pillows?
Well I may have crossed the line a little there by not washing and cleaning them as often as it should be, but I just hate the smell of detergent on my pillows. It simply takes away the essence of me!
I know it sounds gross, but I like my own smell! it makes me feel safe and calm. I want to feel familiar and comforting.
Is that a crime?
Fine, if he feels so bugged about it then maybe he should give me something else to hug.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
It was a wet, wet Thursday late afternoon. I was supposed to pick up my brother at my aunt's house in PJ. I promised to him, we would go back to Kulai together this time. Since it was a public holiday (Awal Muharram), the road was looking clear and driving was a breeze. I was in a chirpy mood.
But things were getting gloomier after that.
As I was driving along Federal Highway, the traffic started to build up, and by the time anyone can scream "traffic jam!" I saw three cars already piled up on the right lane, about 10meter ahead of me.
I, then, out of curiosity, slowed my car. "Slow" as in slowly pushed my brake pedal . I swear to God, there was no sudden movement. No emergency brake or any sort of harsh reaction. Yet, to my horror, my car moved and completely went against my wish. I panicked. A car in front of me already in stationary position. I went pale.
I tell you, eveeeerything went slow-mo after that. As if, my entire life flashed before my eyes!
I was frozen in place. The only thing that was on my mind on the very moment was my mommy. 'Where is my mommy when I need her?' If this was some kind of a dream, please, please Mom, or anyone for that matter snap me out of this nightmare – pour on the hot oil on me or even burn my bed.
Unfortunately my pray wasn’t answered. Instead, two burly Chinese guys in their 30s, opened the car door, checked the car, contemplated something and one of them calmly came towards me.
God, I wanted to do the same but I couldn’t feel my legs.
If there was any consolation, they weren’t armed. As far as I could see, no pointy things at the end of their arms, other than, well, their nails.
Miraculously, maybe, in fear of their sharp, pointy nails, I, then mustered enough strengths and courages to finally, got out the car and was ready to embrace my untold consequences.
He gave me a stern, mean look.
“So macam mana ni?”
I looked at my car – no damages, no scretch. His, Hyundai Matrix – a small dent.
“I am so sorry Boss. Hujan. Licin”
He looked at me, unable to deny the obvious.
“But if we can exchange numbers, I’ll fix your damages. But I don’t have enough cash now”.
He looked back at his car and then, he looked at me, only this time, pityingly.
It rained heavily by then.
He then said something that still rings true, yet unbelievably oh-my-God to my ears.
“Tak apalah, never mind”
Though I felt like I was in the throes of jumping up and down, but I resisted. It was such an awkward moment for me.
“Can you at least take my card?”
“Nah, it’s ok”. Waved his hands violently.
"Pleeesee?"He was adamant.
As he drove away out of my sight, I couldn’t help but wondered, “What was that all about?” I mean, he would rather pay for his car than give his number to me? I was totally baffled. Why?
Well, I am definitely not losing sleep over this, yet it is one of the things that I would love to find out. If there was anything I learned from this 'little' misadventure; 'Mind your own distance' and 'Sorry goes a loong way'.
Boy, am I glad nobody got hurt and I am also glad with the fact that I handled it with grace and much aplomb. I was shattered but never crumbled.
Yeap, guys I still drive to anywhere. Pleasee, I was told I was a good driver!
I Am Changing - Jennifer Hudson (with vocal assistance by Mus)
Look at me,
Look at me I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing I'll be better than I am
I'm trying to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you I need a hand
I am changing
Seeing everything so clear
I am changing I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out
And I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand
All of my life I've been a fool
Who said I can do it on my own
How many good friends have I already lost?
How many dog nights have I known?
Walking down that wrong road
There was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness
Looking for some light
But now I can see
I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing
I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend
To help me start all over again
That would be just fine
I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am
This time I am
I am changing
I'll get my life together now
I am changing
Yes I know how I'm gonna start again
I'm gonna leave my past behind
I'll change my life
I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now
Don't you think it will make a great New Year/Awal Muharram anthem? I have got a long list of things to achieve this year, so I might as well sing my heart out through it. Plus, the more I hear the song, the more I convince it sings about my life.
Come to think of it, it would be a much "soulful" version, had I added some jazz and soul, stamped my name all over it and made it my own. Ahh..how I wish for that!
OK I think I'll put that in my list too.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Before this, I have always considered myself, a mild mannered, guy-next door, adored-by-mothers type of a guy. I have drawn a perfectly clear line of what’s morally acceptable and what’s frown upon by our prudish society.
(Note: Drawing a line and actually exercising self-controlled are totally two different things, people)
Now, it’s no longer the case for me. I have come to a stage where I even have a mantra whenever I feel I might be a danger to the public. (Which means all of my waking up moment).
*To have un-pure, debauched thoughts about anyone, anything ALL THE TIME is WRONG!
Now what am I going to do about it?
Aw puuhleeess, don’t say the M word. I know you guys are gonna throw it back to me but don’t you think I have been thinking about the very same thing since my puberty days? Yes, yes I know I am way passed my prime - the big 3.0 and that might be the contributing factor of my current ‘dilemma’but I have my reasons.
Plus I figured, if I ever decided to go down that path I must first learn to respect and cherish other human being next to me first, right? Treat them equally as a partner and with fairness. And by looking at the current rate I am going, it looks like I have a loooong way to go.
Well, maybe in a year from now that M thing isn’t that bad idea after all, eh? But I guess until then, I’ll have to rely on ‘two of my best friends’ for some quick lurveee and attention.
Wait a minute, why on earth do I share this with you guys?
OMG, I really need help before I hurt somebody and I am dead serious about it.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
So my New Year’s Eve was limited to filling up my car tank, in fear of another possible gas hike and waiting for 30 minutes in McDonald’s drive thru.
Now if you think that I am gonna whine about my non existence celebration happenings or that I am being cursed with non-stop, losing streak boredom, you’d be in for a major surprise my dear friend. I finally won something. No, not the lottery (though it might be nice as well!)
Whaddaya know!!. I was the first winner of Graha Residenku’s Guest of the Year. Wuhooo!!
For those of you who think that I may make the whole things up, please visit:
Doesn’t matter the motive behind the award, so long that I won and you didn’t, it feels nice. It was such a great way to start my new year and it has done wonders to my ego and self esteem. I know it’s not like that I was chosen as Time’s Person of the Year or Nobel Prize Peace Winner but it feels more or less the same nonetheless. This could well be some sort of the start of an awesome year for me.
I won’t discuss the criteria and merits of my winning cause it will sure trigger a heated debate (and eventual hatred) amongst our friends but not a single second that I thought I didn’t deserve this. (Ha! Talk about inflated ego!), though probably I don’t have the answer as well!
Anyway, thanks Miron for the recognition. You know I can’t possibly put you to compete with any other people for any award cause it wouldn’t be fair. You are exotic–ly, uniquely Hasmiron, you know that?
You see, winning is much sweeter if you can share it with your friends, what’s more if the recognition is bestowed by your own friend.
Now that beats any fireworks in the sky on the New Year Eve!