Monday, July 27, 2009

The Blood From My Bleeding Ears

What a paradox; humans go to war and argue thinking that we know and own everything, while the world holds more than we can comprehend, like ‘why do we let this guy sing?’.

Now, I am not so sure if he was crooning or howling – but either way, yech, double vomit, throw-up, burp, and lingering acid reflux. I mean, someone better hose him down.

On no, wait – that happened last week.

Oh yeah, genius, that’s me. Last Saturday, Hasmiron, Sham and me were went against our parol officers’ wish – to not go near 30m parameter radius of any karaoke joint! - and sing! (Which undoubtedly sending professional vocal coaches scurrying to their textbooks to discover whether some random incoherent, gibberish is an actual ‘singing’!)

I don’t really need to go into all the reasons why would anyone want to shove a mini-hot curling iron in the ears and open it, but suffice to say when we do, garage doors go flying, cars combust and dogs run into traffic. We sound pretty much like a bunch of hyenas on helium.

No, I don’t mean to exaggerate but If you were there with us, everything will become clear to you - you’ll wish you could shove your ears with a hot curling iron too!

I mean, how else did I write this post without using the blood from my bleeding ears?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Who’s That Sad, Lonely Guy?

Who just went to his graduation day alone? With no friend and family to cheer him on? Think you know who the loser is? Need some clues?

1) He tends to be a little bald and looks as if he has been badly shaken up in a bus accident.

2) He leans against railings a lot and stares off in the distance with tears up in his eyes.

3) Caught napping throughout the program and was delighted to wake up and found his name call up just in time?

4) Took pictures of himself with camera timer?!

This post is written not in celebration of his education milestones, since obviously there is not much to celebrate and no one to celebrate with. But to let you know that someone is aware he is out there. And that he is not alone. There are millions like him, even though he has only a small chance of meeting one of those people – who celebrates their important days alone.

You think this is sad? YOU THINK?!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Renaissance Man

Something terrible happened to me last Friday afternoon, so terrible it gave me nightmare for days. I thought I was losing it. No, no I won’t tell you what happened. I won’t give you the excruciating details here - at least not here. I believe sometimes, something best not discussed or talked about out in the open, because it would bring no one any good, other than just pain and confusion.

And you know what, in fact, I really don’t know what happened. I’ll probably spend a good portion of the rest of my days wondering how I went from, “I am so awesome and nothing could go wrong!”, to “Everything I do sucks!”.

But I guess that’s good, because now I am starting a new life philosophy. Instead of getting bogged down in the soul-numbing sadness of the situation, I’ve determined that I will take time to do all the things necessary to vastly improve my life.

Starting today, I’ll work out every morning, read classic literature before I go to sleep, organize all my CDs, sign up for karate class, donate time to charity and just generally become the Renaissance man I’ve always known I was deep inside.


Forty eight hours later, I realized that I was once again experiencing the state of confusion that always comes over me when something inevitably goes awry in my life. You’d think I’d known how to handle it by now. It’s been the same story for most of my thirty years.

Man, this is much harder than I thought I could ever handle. Tomorrow I am going to face all my colleagues and probably force to spend the rest of my Monday morning re-telling of what actually had happened.

I know I’ve never been fond of Mondays, but tomorrow would be even more so.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Inside My Heaven

Surprisingly, not many people actually got a chance to see me without my shirt on. I know it’s everyone’s lost but I kinda put a certain high price for a privilege of such heavenly sight. And NO, not because I have a complex body image issue, and I am most certainly NOT a delusional wool-coated glob of fat, like some of you might've suggested.

In fact, quite contrary, I can say with all the confidence, I feel very much secured in my own skin and I love my body. That’s right. I may not have the body of Greek God proportion like Sham has, or serpent-like flexibility of Hasmiron’s, but I always know, there is something I got that others don’t – in water, I am buoyant. So haters, shoo, go away!

Last weekend, for two days straight, Saturday and Sunday, I made time to have a splashing good time with my dear friends Sham, AJ, and Eirul at Shah’s condo pool. It was a blast. We churned out endless laps of pulling and kicking, and learned to swim with the effortless grace of fish (Or in our case, like a certain aquatic mammal!)

I don’t know about my friends, but I simply love to swim. Swimming makes me feel good, both physically and in overall satisfaction. It makes me much calmer and less uptight. I know it sounds weird that this comes out from my mouth but swimming is really mentally engaging as it is physically pleasurable and enormously gratifying.

I have reached a personal nirvana where every lap I swim feels blissful. Because I’ve never been a gifted athlete, I became convinced that the joy of swimming well is attainable by everyone, rather than a gift reserved for a talented few. So friends who haven’t got acquainted with Shah’s pool yet, come on over this weekend and splash away with us. (This is an unpaid ads)

OK, now if all of you are done "savoring" every inch of my body, show some class and get a room!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Monster On Wheel

You may have noticed that I drive an imported car – a continental one, to be exact. And I know what you’re thinking, “Mus, you’re a big Hollywood star. You can afford any car you want. Plus, it’s ridiculous seeing you squeezed in that shoe box wheeler. You’re Mus The Great, for God's sake, you should get a bigger ride.”

All valid points, but as a tree-hugging, panda-loving environmentalist, I am especially sensitive to human’s exploitation of the environment. My Korean-made baby, being extremely fuel efficient and emitting fewer pollutants than other cars, can help lower our reliance on oil and can help slow down global warming.

Plus my car is trendy. In addition to myself, Leonardo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Hasmiron Hamdan, Azreena Zakaria, Herman Mizar and Shamutiara all drive compact cars. So YES, I am quite happy with my car right now, and NO, I don’t think I would want to trade that little fellow for anything else anytime soon. Ehem,well, at least until the next (and the next, next) salary review.

Sigh! But I am a man with many, many wishes and I got (human-ly) urges.

A few days ago I saw this heaven-sent splendor parked beside my lowly ride and by Golly, I was completely in awe. It was like a vision from up above. Such an unparallel, take-out-my-checkbook beauty.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days; fantasizing about how cool would it be if I could, just for a moment, squeeze and rest my bottom on its softy, first class leather seats and run my undeserving fingers through its shiny dashboard. Aaah, I could just imagine the joyous ride it would be, should I agree to mortgage my parents for one of those baby.

Man, I can go on and on talking about what exactly I am gonna do - a million of unpure, automative thoughts but I think I’ll just stop now; cause you know very well what an amorous, redblooded young man like me would likely to do next - the internet!

And oooh yeah, here are some 'sick' pictures of this baby I got from the internet to satisfy my “motorized” needs!

Now, If only I am still not living with that arsonist........!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Worst Friend Ever

Last week was probably the worst and the best seven days of my life. From the lowest point (my mom’s health scare) to the highest (got call from the Academy about my upcoming convocation in July, yeah!); unintentionally, I may have had disappointed my dear friends along the way.

Obviously I am no Angel (though sometimes I can be borderline Evil), and for that, I am writing this, in hope that, those who I have wronged last weekend (for not turning up for a couple of social events I've agreed to come), to understand why I did what I did. And I humbly beg for your forgiveness and understanding.

OK, the problem with me and my friends is complicated. It’s all started when someone invites me for something, to somewhere. As always, I knew I couldn’t come and yet I hate to disappoint them, so I’d say a provisional ‘yes’ while claiming a possible, but as yet unconfirmed, probably due to some imaginary “work” commitment. And then a couple of days later I sms back and say ‘I am sorry but no’.

Or more probably I act the real coward and ‘disappear’ for days and ended up disappoint them even more. Get it? See what I mean? Complicated.

The biggest problem with the invitations is how to turn them down. Accepting is dead easy. It’s turning them down that’s so difficult. There are many invitations that I feel obligated to accept for reasons that range from a genuine generosity in relieving someone’s loneliness to even death threat!

So friends, given how ultrasensitive I am to your feeling, if you call for invitation, the general principle would be to try and avoid putting me in a difficult position like an open question like ‘Mus, what are you doing on Friday night?, Oh I know you are free,right? So.....’ OK?. Now that’s a trap. So give me a get-out. It’s the right thing to do because it reduces potential social conflict. I may not want to come. It’s almost inconceivable, I know. But I might not. For whatever reason.

Man, I know how much you want to strangle me with my tie right now, but I feel really bad about it already. I really do. Again, I am sorry for being a jerk of friend. I promise I’ll try to be more direct with my answer.

Maybe next time I’ll just say, “I can’t come, it seems I’ll be watching televison that night”. See, I am EEVIIL.