Thursday, January 28, 2010


So it’s true. Last night, when I thought no one was looking, I watched my new favourite TV show, GLEE. I know it was soo gay of me, but I was hooked fast on the show the moment one of the main characters, Mercedes, broke into song and belted Kanye’s Gold Digger! The girl can sure rock the house, plus I honestly felt her version was even better than the original - triplefold!

I love comedies and I have always love musicals, so I guess it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that I’d fall hard for a show like this. It brought out the singer, the dancer in me, no, the entertainer in me. (Oh God, I feel like one of those delusional phycopaths in the American Idol audition only to be told 'you suck’).

And please, do not even try to suggest this is yet another poor version of 'High School Musical'. It is sooo not. In fact, they are poles apart. That teen musical that has Zac Effron in it was all about popular kids, who sang and danced their way to their graduation day, without misplacing a single strand of hair. Glee is all about misfits (the geeks, and the unpopulars) who love to do what they do, which, something they are passionate about and of course good at.

And admit this, aren’t this bunch simply the much better singers and dancers than any of, heck, the whole cast of 'High School Musical' put together?

I guess, the show reminds me a lot about me during my high schools years a while back then. OK, minus the singing and the dancing. No one did that. So I guess I was just a geek. But I vividly remember I did share the very same passion and I was hopeful and full of 'dreams'. Sadly, my 'dreams' never did come true. (I was told many years ago, I didn’t have this thing they called ‘talent’ to make it in the business, bah!).

I feel them. I can totally relate myself to the story. I feel it best embodies everything that’s should be right in my life 20 years ago. I should've been allowed to do what I wanted to do. Things that’d make me happy. So I wouldn't feel so trapped. Like how I feel. Now.

The show is soo cool, it doesn’t even matter what people's gonna say about it or me. I am singing my way to the bathroom now.

Cue the music, please!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Hey World! I Am A Moron!

Let’s backtrack a little. Exactly one week ago, as reported via my FB status, I twisted my ankle real bad. The kind of ‘bad’ that left dear ankle swollen greatly, it beyond recognition. I thought I fractured a bone or something but it turned out I just tore my ligamen in the region. So the doctor gave me a truckload of pain killers to last a week and a motherly good ol’ advice - Be careful next time and try to look straight ahead when walking.

Good advice.

Looking at the circumstances, you’d think I repented and mended my way, but Nooooo, Mr.I'm-A-Superstar-So-I-Have-To-Walk-Like-One never takes advice from anyone, not even a constructive one. So I deserve to be miserable and suffer. I am a pathetic failure of a man!

Yesterday, I twisted my ankle YET again. The same ankle. The very same foot. And you’d think that was punishing enough. Wrong! It got worse. This time, it was more like a spectacular event of the year. It couldn’t happen in a more appropriate ‘arena’. I tripped over an invisible log and fell my office lobby....during lunch a full view of the entire organization’s community !!!!

The whole lobby was filled with my howl.

Suddenly I felt I was like in a stage, all blackened out with only one light in the center. Me. The trippy, overweight, off-balance loser!!!

I hunched over and brought my hands up to my face, cupping it, as if I was drinking water from a stream. I couldn’t walk , I couldn’t even stand! How could I? I had an audience, for God’s sake!!

How did my life take such a dismal turn? What did I do wrong along the way? My feet were too small to support my belly. Or I lacked the ability to support my big belly in the required way. Whatever it is, it sicken me.

I am on MC to today, not only to recuperate from the swollen ankle and from the bruised ego but to think over what I have done to me and my life so far, that I deserved to be this pathetic!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

God, Please Let Him Be Wrong

I probably shouldn’t have mentioned this, but yes, I have been bobbing up and down the threadmill at my office gym for more than three months now. It’s sorta my new year’s resolution this year, to –surprise,surprise- lose some weight.

And yes I only go to my office gym, because it’s nearby and convenient. I can go and work out during lunchtime or even after office hour. Alright, plus it’s free. And let be honest, I’ve never understood the concept of paying hundreds of ringgits to an expensive lifestyle gym just to sweat (I can even do that in my bedroom!). Not only does it get super crowded during peak hours, you probably have to wait a lifetime (or two) to get on the treadmill. And the air inside is, Sweet Lord!, stale and fetid too.

So there you go. I thought I have everything down pat, all of them in place with absolutely with no cost. I was even beginning to feel a little different. I was pumped up. This year, this time, this could be it. I never felt so good and so sure about myself before.

Then someone had to ruin my party and attacked me with these vicious words, clocked under the pretext 'friendly banter', which I didn't find it amusing at all.

"Wow, Mus, have you gained weight?”, chuckled annoyingly,“What happened to your so-called New Year's resolution? Given up already?”. More chuckled, more annoyingly.


I understand, between friends, banter and apparent rudeness are often ways of expressing deep attachment. You hear friends explaining to other people outside their group, that they can only be so rude to each other because they love each other. And we do love a briliant barb. But I, for one, believe banter has to exist within rules. Especially when it comes to my constant personal struggles.

Am I really gained weight? After all those odd hours at the gym? Am I not doing it right? God, Hope I am not! He’s probably just jealous because I finally decided to do something about my waisline and he, well, is not. So I am gonna let that off-putting remarks to slide and surely I am not gonna dignify this with a whole post. And of course I am gonna be sure as hell gonna be a day or two.

I have far more frightening thing to worry about.

The only thing that far worse than what he has just said, is probably.......he was saying the truth after all!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

This Isn't A Love Story

Have you ever felt like you’ve met a perfect person that you were convinced that you were “destined” to be together, only to find out later, they weren't?

Allow yourself to believe that the relationship wasn’t completely futile pursuit that would inevitably end in pain? (as if you didn’t know better)

Found yourself unable, or unwiling to get on with your life after the imminent break up?

If you say Yes to all of the questions above then I just got a perfect movie for you.

There’s something about this little movie that sucked me to it completely. It didn’t follow the rules. In fact it crushed them all. And left me bewildered.

When my brother pushed the DVD for me to watch,“Jangan lupa tengok!,” I happened to look at the ‘little warning’ note on the cover.

“This is not a love story. This is a story about love”.

I knew I was in for something, erm, surprising. Something that doesn’t quite go where we think it will.

This is a story about Tom (Gordon-Lewitt), a hopeless romantic greeting card copywriter who seriously thinks that his world comes crushing down when his girlfriend Summer (Zooey Deschanel) of 500 days dumps him. So Tom shifts back and forth through their 500 days courtship in getting answers on what went wrong.

(Spoiler alert!)

What I like about the story is, it never feeds on our expectations on how things will turned out for both of the characters. There is no happy ending. The girl isn’t coming back to Tom (she in fact married the next guy she met in a split second). Tom never understands why Summer left him and the story is all about that.

The only thing that clearly dawned to Tom (and us, eventually) at the end of it all is; he really wasn’t the one. His final revelation turns out to be in front of him all along and he never realizes it.

I know some people will find the movie is too weird and thorny. But I find it exhilarating. It’s sad, but it’s sooo sad it’s funny – just like any other real relationship you know and ever been in. It has a very unsettling yet satisying conclusion and you know what I am saying once you see it yourself.

I am no expert in relationship but I do know disappointments were inevitable. Nobody is perfect. Without question, we’ll experience the ups and downs that all relationships provide, but we know we better be suited to handle them, because at the end of it, it’s all worth it.

Having said that, I recommend this movie to who ever been in love and/or out of it.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Diva Intervention

All my friends know how obsessed I am when it comes to Mimi. No kidding. I mean who else would buy several of her brand new albums and put them on in his car, at home, in his bedroom and another in his office?

And remember every single word in her every single song including The Remix Album and Glitter? (small font is not unintentional)

Went completely ballistic when anyone with an IQ dangerously below 20 tried to compare the incomparable Queen Mimi with Miss no-talent Leona Lewis?!

Madness. Not my finest moments but deep down I know all my times sticking up on her will pay off someday (Oh God, please!)

So, I guess it would be quite unsurprisingly redundant if I say I managed to watch her new, critics-darling movie, ‘Precious’, which I think most probably wouldn’t see the light of days here in Malaysia.

This vision brings tears to eyes, alright!

It’s a story about an overweight and illiterate 16 years old teenager, Claireece ‘Precious’ Jones, who was raped by her own father and now is pregnant with her second child.

It was a very, horribly depressing movie, I know. But luckily it only lasted less than 100 minutes and there were a lot of dream sequences, and unexpected social humors in it, so basically, I could barely survived watching in full. And of course there’s Mimi in it. Duh.

I have nothing much to say about the movie, except it tore at my soul watching it and I was deeply disturbed by the sad and horrible way life treated the main character.

Surprisingly, instead of going down with the way of tragic ending like any other movie would do, you know, to milk shamlessly on our tears, ‘Precious ‘ showed greatness in spirit that came through in her simple way of seeing the world around her. It has a feel-good ending, which methinks is refreshing.

The strength of the movie of course was the superb acting performances all around by all the casts especially you-know-who.

And yet I can’t stop without saying this; despite all the terrible, unspeakable horror that happened in the movie, nothing can match the pain and agony like seeing Mariah without her make up on.

That’s what I call a real Armageddon-ish, Greek Tragedy on 10 of richter scale!

You do not see that everyday!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Brand New Start

New Year usually means nothing to me. But not this year. This year I am gonna take some action. I am gonna reset my life and you know, start anew.

Wait. I know you'd ask, 'What happened'? Why now?!

Usually, I try to avoid discussing "controversial" topic here but sigh, OK. if you must know; ahem, someone I really care about *blush* sent me this cheeky poem via sms (or is it words from a song? Someone please enlighten me!) It sure does sound like a music to me.

Anyway it goes something like this,

Selamat Tahun Baru 2010
Semoga Panjang Umur dan Murah Rezeki Selalu
Muah Muah Muah
(I swear to God, I wasn't imagining this!) sweet. OK maybe not terribly the most original thing ever to say, but who cares, I know I don't! Ha!

And to those of you, who probably hasn't received anything as remotely thoughtfully romantic as this, I have only this to say to you guys!

Selamat Tahun Baru 2010
Semoga Panjang Umur dan Murah Rezeki Selalu
Muah Muah Muah

OK. Being unoriginal is infectious. So whatcha gonna do about it?