Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Letter That Never Meant To Be


I received your email this morning. Unexpectedly.

It was the least thing I would expect to receive from you in my otherwise glorious Tuesday morning. Not now, not tomorrow and definitely not after what we have gone through for the past couple of months. I can’t lie. Usually I get jittery whenever I received your emails. But somehow I knew this was not like any of those emails you sent to me before – you know, those with un-mistakenly-you opening ‘Semarak Salam. This one was different. I simply knew it.

So I was stunned. I opened it and read it slowly, word by word and found it amusing about the time you chose to do this.

Anyway I didn’t wait a second – not to reply but to explain myself. People have got to see my side of story once again. You know, now that this has become about winning a clout. You probably wouldn’t understand it.

I am sorry we haven’t spoken for a while, but it’s ok, we are better off this way anyway. I don’t know what future may hold for us but I am guessing we can never past that ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing?’ anymore.

I am sorry about those nasty lies and mean things I said about you.

I am sorry if my actions put you in irrecoverably pain or hurt you in anyway.

I am sorry about those unnecessary times I spent to explain to our friends how innocent I was, although nobody could have cared less about it.

I am sorry about those countless stupid fights we had before that dated back to our school years but I am supposed you know me by now.

I am sorry for that two-words ‘minta maaf’ I sms-ed to you that didn’t really mean anything, so much so I failed to remember it now nor your reply to it.

I am sorry that things couldn’t possibly be exactly the same and I am sorry this has to end this way but they are things that never meant to be.

But I have longed forgiven you and way over it by now. You’ll be glad I have moved on and I hope you have too.

We will be in each other life that’s for sure. We will definitely cross each other path soon and O yes I read your blog everyday. We are not gonna stop checking on each other.

I am sorry that this story will not have a happy ending soon, but I am still glad we were once friends.

Thanks you for the email and most importantly thank you for recognizing the pain we caused to each other.

This is liberating, isn't it?

Your friend.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Life Is Good When It's Free

Don’t tell me how great your weekend was cause I know it couldn’t possibly as spectacularly great as mine.

Aha, you heard it right. I had a fantabulous weekend: a free stay in a hillside chalet-like resort just outside KL for good 3 days with pay. Think that this is too much for sharing? Well don’t send me anthrax power yet, cause you see, I was working.

Like I said, it did come with pay. I was supposed to take in charge in overseeing my management trainee progress as they went through their required teambuilding programme modules, which of course designed by yours truly.

Yeah, ‘overseeing’ as in, sleeping in my climate controlled room, watching TV while ordering room service, driving around town till early morning, skinny deep in the spacious and warm pool, and helping myself with all-you-can-eat buffet 6 times a day.

Sigh, life is good when it’s free….and one hella fun

(No prize guessing whose idea this is!)

Friday, November 23, 2007

What Kind Of Moron Would Get On A Suicide Machine? Guess

Friends argue sometimes. OK maybe not - friends argue all the times and yesterday wasn’t any exception.

I witnessed how two of my friends got tangled in nasty emails exchange and seemingly on each other neck over trivial issues (isn’t it always?). And since this unfortunate incident happened in the world of cyber chatting (or rather mailing list), so everyone else couldn’t help tangling themselves – which includes me.

I know it might me inappropriate of me to discuss their behavior on my own blog, and by the look of it I am pretty much booking my one-way ticket to electric chair but let me assure you, I am not interested in the details, and you probably wouldn't too.

I didn’t say a word nor did I ask ‘why?’ In fact I assess the situation and reflect it on my own self. So what if two of your friends are not talking anymore? Too bad, it happens every day.

Sometimes, a friend’s hardest job is learning to take a step back and let them work it out themselves. Just refuse to get between pricky situations like that so you won’t be that little fire in the heat wave season. When you thought enough water had flowed under the bridge, somebody will poke the dam.

Fortunately this isn’t the whole story.

Researchers from US found out that people who bottles up feelings when arguing with their friends were four times likelier to die early. And people who got involved in between were twice as likely to get heart disease.

This suggests friends who row a lot may not be subjecting themselves to harmful stress, unlike those who don’t argue because obviously they don’t know how to resolve resentments.

Great news.

And for those who might be concerned with the fate of my friends I told you about, they are doing fine. By the time you are reading this post they are probably exchanging ‘I am sorry’ e-cards or rubbing each other feet. I even heard they are planning a trip together to the neighboring country next month.

Good for them.

I concur they have a very long lives ahead of them… hopefully together.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Some Kind Of A Hero....

There are few things in life that I have vowed never to do - at least not in this lifetime anyway. While bungee jumping and pole dancing might share the special mention here, donating my ‘hard-earned’ blood could well be up on the top of my list.

But then again “What do I know?”.

I know it was an unbelievably me. I went completely against my free will and yet it was a total breakthrough in my hip, young life. After more than 30 years of pure ignorance and blatant narcissism, I finally return to the path of light – I gave a pint of my blood away to save the human kind. (Thud!).

Though I couldn’t really say I enjoyed the process at first, I didn’t really scream like a little girl (OK, maybe a little!). It does feel good now that I think about it. Well if I heard it right, the honorable thing I did yesterday might actually save at least three innocent lives. I thought “Wow I must be some kind of a hero”.

Life as we know it is full of unpredictability and surprises, especially when it comes to mine. I sometimes did something I wouldn’t normally do and it struck to me how compassionate can easily surpasses any of my deepest fear and wariness. I guess that’s the power of self-discovery and a little persuasion.

“Why am I here again? O. Free cookies”

Yes, I am healthy, age more than 18 and weight MORE than 45kg

What is worse than waiting? Sucking your blood out from your vein

“OK so my blood type is O, so is it less pain?”

“Sakit tak, Kak?”
“Taklah, macam kena patuk ular jer”

If there was one thing I brought home yesterday (other than a pack of Milo, an apple, a can of soda, a pack of chocolate cookies and self dignity still intact) is the fact that I know I am a good man.

(Yes, you may vomit now!)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Life By A Catalogue

I was at IKEA last Saturday night, but that’s not the interesting bit. (For some mysterious cosmic intervention, I didn’t make a completely fool of myself in front of anybody nor did they close the whole store for my monthly shopping spree). In fact, this post is about a dream – a dream that comes in a catalogue.

* Flipping through the catalogue often made me wonder, “When will ever they let anyone stays in their showroom?”

Any other guy would give their arms to get that cute pendant lamp, just to light up their barnyard; some might even sold their own mother to get that limited now-RM55-last-year-RM66 laundry bag with stand.

But dreamers like me would be more than happy just to get hold of its latest issue catalogue. (Tear jerker alert! This is going to be a very sad, heart tugging story)

Hang on! I did buy something from IKEA store before, thankyouverymuch! - RM6.90 door mat and let's not forgetting I had my dinner once there (RM2 Swedish Hotdog and assorted of other Exit Café’s product - RM1 Swedish Ice cream and Swedish curry puff) so please save your sympathy.

So why haven’t I moved on from that RM6.90, 2 year-old door mat?

a) The design doesn’t fit with my celebrity lifestyle?
b) I happened to be a spokesperson for Perabot Cempaka?
c) My runaway maid used to be Swedish?
d) The classic, “They are so expensive, I don’t need them”?
e) I can’t even assemble Legos and now you’re saying “furniture?”

O Please, anyone who knows me knows the answer;

d) The classic “They are so expensive, I don’t need them” – Hardly a surprise.

Even if I can find a very nice bowl that I can afford (which means after a huge discount) I’d still be hesitated. I don’t want any brand determines who I am - I can get a much cheaper bowl elsewhere. But of course then I would be sitting in my non-IKEA room banging my head on the wall all day, muttering, “stupid, stupid.”

Then why travel across the country? Well, duh, for the Swedish curry puff and the new catalogue.

a) The catalogue has a complete picture of my dream home. It inspires me to work harder now so that I can get my own place soon and re-design it any way I want - loaded with IKEA stuff, of course. That shiny pictorial mag also works wonder for my determination and does more for my motivation to succeed - so much more than buying a trinket for your TV top.

b) I sleep better at night with the catalogue in my arms and sometimes when I fantasized about something or someone it usually took place in IKEA showroom – just like in the catalogue (minus the price tag).

c) At the end, I’d be happily stack up the issue along with other issues in the living room – just to remind me I have another un-finished dream in hand. Living room is also a perfect place for a catalogue like that cause it gives a false impression to my guest that ‘I am thinking of buying something I just don’t have time’. They might also sense something eerily scream IKEA in my living room and the best part is they wouldn't know it comes with 'complimentary' tag.

See, so the trip wasn’t really a complete waste of time. At least I didn’t go home empty handed. I brought home 2008 catalogue…and some dignity.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

One Small Step For A Man......

It has been raining incessantly in the afternoon for over a week now and with bleak weather forecasts for weeks to come, I become wary of possibilities of yet another huge snag to my seemingly-doom-to-fail plan. You know the plan - Slimming down Plan a.k.a An Impossible Dream.

If you can still remember correctly, most of all my planned activities are at mercy of our mother nature. Yes, my living room is No Swimming, No Jogging Zone - no thanks to my ‘ever-supporting’ housemate. And any activities that remotely resemble swimming and jogging in my bedroom are deemed disrespectful to other occupant of my house. (Gee I wonder who?!)

After that ‘little’ drain mishap that almost ruined my only chance for happiness 2 weeks ago, I can’t no longer afford another heartbreak and disappointment, so it’s really upsetting for me to see all my dreams, my chances and my meticulous planning are being washed up down the drain. I need to pull myself together and do whatever needs to do to achieve that ultimate Impossible Dream, otherwise… otherwise I wouldn’t ever, ever dare to dream again. (So corny it sounds like a ripped off from Olympic’s Theme song!)

Anyway yesterday afternoon, soon after I arrived home from work, I stepped out of my car, I looked up to my house (which on 11th floor) and made a bold decision or probably the craziest idea I ever concocted:

“Today I am going to find another way to get to my house”….and flying and wall-crawling are not the options.

“I think I am going to use stairs!” Gasp!! (Did I hear a loud thud?)

“What the worst that could happen?” No one dare not think about that endless possibilities.

So I took one deep breath and forwarded that very first, historical step as though it was being recorded in history;

First floor, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth…..

By 7th floor, I started making a loud noise with my breathing that it was enough to evacuate the building (I thought I heard fire truck siren somewhere)

….eighth, ninth, tenth….and finally…

Floor Eleventh!…I made it!…Oh My God!!!…I did it! (Though I wasn’t actually couch-jumping at that moment – too tired, but surely I am now!)

That means total 242 Steps - imagine the calories I burned off and oxygen I sucked - probably sufficient to light up the whole city for the whole month. And this dare-devil attempt was without the Kavadi. Imagine that!

So will I do it again? Maybe

Do I feel good? Hell yes

Will I bring Kavadi next time? Hell no

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap…. and bucket of sweat for ME!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Nail Biting Facts

I found disturbing facts on the Internet about my disturbing bad habit – nail biting. Suddenly I feel the need to share these amazing-but-true facts with all people I like, now that I have found my true calling living in this world – to lead national nail biting anonymous group.

Fact No 1

The most common instigator of the disorder seems to be stress or anxiety. Nail and cuticle/skin biting may be an outlet for pent-up emotion, reducing tension.
i.e Thinning hair, ballooning weight, work stress related….

Fact No 2

Nail biters could also suffer from a poor self-image; low self esteem or could be punishing themselves for deeper-rooted problems or anxieties.
i.e Err..again, thinning hair, ballooning weight, work stress related…..and chest?!

Fact No.3

Nail biters are more often male than female (10% fewer girls bite their nails than boys)
i.e Not sure how this piece of information might help us...but surely gives our female friends a new perspectives on men...not!

Fact No.4

Individuals with a higher rate of intelligence tend to bite their nails more than those of less intelligence (studies seem to suggest this is because people with higher rate of intelligence have more responsibility, which provide more anxiety)
i.e Awww, come on, how can anyone argue with this?

Fact No. 5

Unfortunately no treatment exists for bad habits.
i.e This, definitely won’t help that self-esteem issue thingy…..Damn!

How can you help?

Of course, by treating nail bitters with respect. Lend an ear for us to bite, I mean to listen. Show us support by bringing nail clippers around for us. Find a salon that will apply artificial nails or full manicure make over for special people like us. Or better yet chew our nails for us, after all we are uncurable right?!

So when we are happy and less stress we have no reason to bite.

Monday, November 12, 2007

What Have We Become?

It’s got free soap, free tissue and people lining up at the door. A hot new club? Nope – the bathroom at Shell Pandan Indah – the site of November 9 showdown between me and an Indian guy.

The Indian guy tried to cut the line and I wasn’t having it. Fists never flew but questions did.

Is the Shell’s bathroom really worth fighting for? Well scarcity equals demand and with single stall room for a kazillion patrons everyday, there’s almost always a line.

We, Malaysian hear the similar encounter and story everyday, which brings to my next question:

Have we now become what I think we have become?

Sadly, I think we have.

I hate to preach. I don’t believe something so simple and common needs to be told a thousand times but somewhere, something needs to be done. But then again, I leave that to our politicians and educators.

OK. I stop now cause I started to bore you plus when I feel troubled, I usually sit in those feelings all day. And after an emotional day like that, I am happy when it’s done and I can come back to planet reality.

So the next time you see a long line and decided to cheat your way in front - DON'T - cause then you have to answer to me!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Grumble, Grumble

Life may be getting better for many of us – as the economy improves, we’re healthier, better educated and more affluent – but there are still plenty of things that drive us crazy - like driving to work everyday.

Get this. My house and office are only 8km apart, yet it’d take about 30 minutes to arrive without breaking a sweat. Every morning is kinda like another battlefield for me. Well instead of on some bloody Arenas or on a ransacked paddy field, it’s on well-tarred Malaysian road.

And I am not only talking about the never-solved-ancient-mystery traffic jam here – it’s the road works that constantly disrupt traffic. GOD! The digging never seems to end – once they finish one stretch, another one begins and another sign ‘Kesulitan amat dikesali, demi keselesaan anda di masa hadapan’ s*** is being put up. It’s a perpetual nightmare!

It’s chaotic, to say the least.

I know this is old news, but there, this 3-point juncture between Taman Nirwana and Taman Cahaya, just before Taman Dagang traffic light that has been the main cause of me using up all my Aspirin supply. And this, might be and will be the only reason if I ever turned to Prozac.

In fact, to everyone horror, this is not the only dreadful place in KL that has been littered with this empty promises - dozen more and thousand more to come – for the sake of ‘Pembangunan’. Wait! That does sound familiar. Ha! Talking about irony huh?

Forget I said that. Move on.

Gone were the days where owning a car was a luxury and driving to work was a breeze. Perhaps it’s what birds have been singing about for so long - to warn us, well, before they were being replaced by deafening horns and engines.

Fast forward and crashed to reality land; One of these days I am gonna lose my mind. So what would I do to release some steam?

Don’t worry I have my own unique way on how to deal with this. Word of advice: just keep your pet away from my neighborhood road or you’ll be ended up looking for them under my tires.

Excuse me, if I sound a little bit emotional (psycho) here, but it’s for our ‘keselesaan di masa hadapan’ right?

The point I try to make is: people simply don’t want to spend most of their lives stuck in traffic. You simply cannot be a good driver in KL. You have to know how to cut into queues, how to drive fast and not hit or be hit by other.

Sigh, if only that was legal. I can already imagine the ad campaign.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I Want To Sing!!

I was watching MTV alone last night when I had a stunning revelation: “I have to get out of this house! I need to sing!”

Ever since Hasmiron’s Farewell Party couple months back, I had become housebound and I have been itching for karaoke nights out with my friends. My angelic voice needs audience. My fan has become restless. This gift from God needs to be shared with the world over.

The question is: When?

Until someone calls me, I am going to be on the top of a table gyrating to this tune….

Memacu Pembangunan Negara

Sinar mentari bak penyuluh diri
Menyusuri onak dan duri
Sama seiring ikhlas berbakti
Demi ibu pertiwi

Kita terbitkan semangat juang
Demi usahawan gemilang
Melaksanakan agenda kita
Membangunkan negara

Ini permulaan
Ayuhlah kita semua
Memacu pembangunan
Negara Malaysia

Ikrar dan janji penuh setia
Gigihkan usaha hingga jaya
Memacu pembangunan negara
Itu agenda kita

Repeat Chorus

Written by: Dato’ Wah Idris and Sheikh Faisal Sheikh Mansor
Produced by: Jermaine Dupri for So So Def Productions, Inc.
On: Blackout (Jive)/Mus’ Greatest Hits

*This damn song keeps playing in my head …somebody please shot me…

…..or the table will!

Monday, November 5, 2007

10 Ways To Make Your Vacation Super Fabulous - Mus' Style

Holiday season is around the corner. Finally it’s time for your much-needed break. You have plan but one question keeps pounding your head. “Why my vacation always left me unsatisfied, penniless and went back with more stress than ever?" In other word, why your vacation sucks? You only have yourself to blame. If only you listened to Mus Before.

Here are some tips on how to make your vacation a super fabulous one – courtesy Mr Fabulous himself.

1. Travel only in First Class Coach

2. Pick people who you think you can boss around – You know, carrying your bags and stuff and address you as Encik or Sir.

3. Pick a far away, exotic location, away from papparazzi, i.e The Lost World Tambun

4. Let somebody else pay for the trip. If you already spent a penny, make sure you claim it back once you’re back.

5. Apply no leave, just put it under unrecorded leave.

6. Make sure other people you are with have less fun than you i.e Give them test/class while you go frolicking around the pool

7.Brag about the vacation to friends like putting the best photos on your blog.

8. If blogging failed, keep talking about it in years to come so that you (and people around you) never forget how fun the vacation was.

9. Look tired and worn out on Monday, just to let everyone knows that you had a whale of time. You know you did, but just to make sure everyone else knows that!

10. Finally, in any vacation to be fun and fabulous, make sure you forget about pending works at office and home completely.

And if you think you need an extra buzz for that vacation of yours, then look for friends that can provide you with free meal. But make sure you give the impression you were there for ‘catching up’. And bring your camera.

Take only tasteful pictures…

Oopsie…this NOT!

Friday, November 2, 2007

My Poor Right Foot (Another Heart Sprained Story)

You guys wouldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe it myself. OMG, I sprained my ankle badly – on my right food. Yet again.

Yes again. If you remember correctly I once fractured that ‘bad-chi’ right foot of my mine two years ago and I was blogging (read:whining) about it few months back (My Right Foot). But this? This got to be the biggest joke/prank fate has ever played on me. Spot on.

I swear, I thought I could put that all behind me but what happened yesterday really shocked me to the core. Something does come in repeat - unexplainably strange but creepy.

The night before I was at my friend house in Bandar Baru Ampang. You know, socializing and stuff. The night began well, well, until I had to call it a night. I said goodbye, closed the gate and BAM, the next thing I know half of my torso rested in distorted position inside the drain.

‘In pain’ would be such an underrated word here. Enough if I say my squeak apparently awaken the whole neighborhood and scared the hell out of the neighborhood dogs (Please don’t judge me). While I was in that hole, I learned a few new cursing words and plotting a nasty revenge to whoever did this to me. This brought out the worst trait in me, but all in all one fact seemed to be resilient than the others - me and drain never a good combination.

Anyway, after much torment, toil and a few giggles from some insensitive onlookers (damn those!), we figured out that apparently some no-good, &^$#@, idiot stole the drain cover for a quick buck and please no prizes on who was taking the plunge.

This unfortunate ‘night of terror’, as my friend called it happened for an umpteenth time and cause a great distress to me. It pissed me off to know that they are irresponsible people out there with crab mentality at its peak that posed a great danger to the public. This people must be found and punished. Let it be known that I have few new curses I learned in the hole that I would looove to share with them.

I felt cheated out of my paid taxes and worst of all, there goes my Jogging Plan. My Impossible dream now remains an out-of-reach dream.