I Am A Mad, Mad Man!

It is all started with this “friendly”, seeking-help email, and my faith in finding the life’s little joy in everyday problems was officially over.

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To whom it may concern,

I tried to reload my debit card (Tune Card) via online service (CIMBClicks) this morning. The amount was successfully deducted from my CIMB account but what mystified me is, up until now, it doesn’t appear nor has been reflected in my TuneMoney account.

Please assist me in checking on the root of the problem a.k.a Where the hell is my money?!!

Details of the goddamn transaction are as per below, if you don’t mind my tone:

Date/Time : 26 Aug 09, 10:14:13
FPX Transaction ID : *******************
Seller Order No : *******************
Authorization No :********************
Seller Name : TUNE MONEY SDN BHD PREPAID
Buyer Bank : CIMB Bank
Amount : RM*****.**

And please, don’t make or even entertain the prospect of asking me to call you or CIMB again, or God help me, I’ll show you the absolute meaning of ‘being difficult’.

In closing, would you please advice me as soon as possible if you are still interested in doing business with me, or if what has happened here is your not so subtle way of telling me to do my business elsewhere

Thank you

Syed Mustaffa Syed Mohamad
0173***027

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As the cumulative effect of all this nonsense began to weigh on me heavily, I became increasingly frustrated. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. More unsettling however, was the fact that I’d been through far more serious challenges and problems in my life and had come through with my peace of mind intact.

Why was I now feeling so miserable? So hopeless? Sure, a lot of little annoyances, mostly with our stupid online banking service, can grate on you, but the angst I was feeling deep inside certainly didn’t seem commensurate with these rather pedestrian problems.

I mean, what is wrong with me, lately? Really.

Mus’ Pet Peeves No. 2: I’m Incurably Unthinable!

I love to eat terrible food. What can I say? Nasi Lemak, Ramlee Burger, Mee Goreng, Roti Canai, chocolate, ice cream, anything fattening that I can jam down my throat. And now that Ramadhan is just around the corner, I like to go to “all-you can eat” buffets, where I always feel obligated to eat what I perceive to be my money’s worth. O brother, trust me, for months right up after Raya, all I can wear is maternity clothing.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is all the weight I gain always goes right to my gut. If the weight would just distribute itself evenly, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t mind if I was a well-formed fat guy; that would be OK. But all my weight goes right to my stomach. So if I am not careful, I end up with skinny legs, skinny arms, and no shoulders, but a big, fat gut. Euww.

Truthfully, I hate dieting. But it’s really not just about a diet. I believe, it’s more about changing how and what you eat. It’s not a temporary fix to enable one to slip into one’s leotard by the weekend, but a complete overhaul of one’s eating habits. But let’s face it, if you are not ready to change your eating lifestyle, you are not ready.

Case in point, a few months prior, my sister had tried to get me interested in dietary health by giving me a book on nutrition. I poured chocolate syrup on the book and ate it!

It's hopeless. I am incurably unthinable!

Mus' Pet Peeves No. 1

I went to see this movie the other day. No, not “see”, strike that, I was trying to see that goddamn movie the other day. I would have posted a review here today, except that as usual, the theater was filled with nothing but ill-mannered idiots conversing at high volume during the film, I ended up being clueless and too peeved to recall anything about the movie at all.

It never ceases to amaze me how loudly, and how often, people talk during films these days. When I was a kid, people got kicked out for coughing. Now it’s like Mardi Gras in there, but less inhibited.

I supposed there are many reasons for this horrifying trend, such as introduction of VCD and DVD players, when people watch movies at home and talk to each other throughout the film, and many aren’t bright enough to realize that carrying this behavior over into theater where others are trying to watch the movie is incredibly inconsiderate and inappropriate. It’s not a matter of a few folks whispering occasionally. Most movies I attend at cinema nowadays sound like the floor of the stock exchange.

I don’t care if you are having a heart attack, you can drag yourself out to the lobby and quietly call for an ambulance. Anyone who did talk would be immediately treated to a twenty thousand-volt burst of electricity sent through their seat. Their next of kin could then claim their ashes quietly once the film had ended.

And that’s how the public cinemas should be, quiet and grave.

The Adventure of A Man With Freakishly Large Feet

The great thing about being a man is that you can go shopping and get all the things that you want in less than an hour and you can do it completely alone.

Unfortunately, shopping is almost always man’s least favorite occupation. That’s part of the reason why when he goes shopping; he buys enough to last him for the next 10 years.

Well, unless if you go shoes shopping for a SASQUATCH!

Having rated ‘shoes shopping’ on a par with having a prostate examination by a doctor with cold hands, I am glad to announce my three weeks cross country shoes hunting quest finally ended last Sunday afternoon. I finally found the pair.

I am beat. I usually found the stress experience while shopping ranks with the kind of stress experienced by a police officer dealing with an angry mob in a riot.

And don’t even get me started of the RM amount spent on this entire ‘little adventure’, that inspired a humiliating “experience” on its own……

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(*Mus* here is not someone I know)

Mus were in the department store looking for shoes – a very big one.

“I want this pair with size 11,” He said to the sales assistant. She showed him a pair costing RM350.

‘That’s a bit much,” said Mus, so she returned with a slightly more affordable pair of RM250.

‘That’s still quite a bit,” Mus complained.

Growing disgusted, the sales assistant brought out another ‘economy’ pair.

Mus grew agitated,”What I mean,” he said, “Is I’d like to see something really cheap”.

So the sales assistant handed him a mirror.