.....I Was Just Born This Way

Since I was young I’ve always had irrational hate (fear) towards 'man’s best friend'. Dogs simply creep me out…and annoy the hell out of me too. They bark incessantly to anyone or anything that moves and they smell like, err..well, like wet dogs. Most of the times I would take a longer route to my destination, just to avoid this furry creature from barking at me or even worse chase me down the road (that’d be a truly stuff of my lifetime horror!)

No matter how cute people say they are, they gross me out and thanks to my religious upbringing, I was told dogs are dirty and ‘haram’ to pet. My hatred towards dogs came even more closer to crossing the fine line between child’s play and dogs’ version of Mona Fendi.

But that was along time ago and our government looked a lot different then. Now that I am older and have a nice car, I am no longer afraid to go anywhere. Over the years, I have probably managed to suppress the ‘psychological scars’ to my deepest thoughts and naively I thought I was over this terrorizing period but……

But revenge finally comes to those people who wait.

As fate would have it, last Sunday afternoon, I was driving leisurely as I always do during weekend, when I saw this limpy dog in the middle of the road tried to cross over to the other side. I didn’t know what might have come over me, when suddenly I went cold and without me knowing it had awaken the demon inside of me. The one nobody wants to see. I became the very person I hated to be.

I ran over the dog!

I could almost hear a little whine. It sounds so wrong yet so satisfying it’s almost like a jinggle to me. I jolted in devilishly self-satisfaction and relief.

Still, I took a pause and soon realized, I had no regret. I didn’t feel terrible at all for the despicable act I did. Instead, it dawned to me; 'Hey I am not the prey anymore. I am the fearful hunter, the master of my own destiny'. I am finally free and It felt really good. (Que: Imagine me laughing maniacally!)

I am so going to Hell, am I?

I Am Not A Bad Man!

'You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'.

Why So Serious?

Let's cut to the chase, 'The Dark Knight' is probably one of the best movie that come out this year so far. OK, strike that out. 'The Dark Knight' is THE best movie I've seen this year. I was totally blown away. I don't care if you think the statement is prematured but this is what a summer blockbuster movie should be all about - great story, big explosions, mind blowing visual effect and kick ass villain.

And Yeap, everything you read or heard about how amazing Heath Ledger was as The Joker, well, they were all true. Heath gave a force-de-tour performance.

Heath's The Joker is definitely not your typical playground bully or someone you want to add as 'friend' in your Facebook. He's so menacingly evil, he can be philosophical about it. (Let's just say he provides more quotable quotes here than Forrest Gump). He's also so rich and fully armed that for a second, I thought he's related to our politician or have an access to Malaysia's Ministry of Defense's army bunker. (Ooops, did I say that out loud?)

My point is, the director, Christopher Nolan realizes how important it is to have an evenly-match villain in a movie like this. He understands the audience are getting smarter and much matured now and not easily sold by stupid and predictable villains. Gone are the days of cartoonish and comic book-like characters and they want something more real and yet mind-blowingly entertaining.

I know, serious reviewers and critics would strangle me for saying this, but I truly believe Christopher Nolan succeeded in balancing what's real and what's fun. He's a master in creating an 'art' within a so-called shallow, non-serious subject.

All I am saying is, movies need not be a sleep-inducing, boring affair to be a good movie. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with taking a break from two Iranian movies and having some 'fun' time once in a while. They are not necessary bad for your intellectual.

Moral of the story? Don't be so serious!

Hellish Night - Coversation With My Conscience

I am only human, so occasionally I am allowed to be a first class moron too.

Me, moron? No chance!

Well, let’s just say there’s a reason for every first in the record book.

Like last Thursday night for instance….

I had a big exam coming up in less than 48 hours, so what do you think did I do? I am supposed you’d say I was burying my head with books and notes? Burning the midnight oil? Camping inside the library? Nibbling on prune? Nooooooo…tough luck, big guy.



Yeap, instead, I went for a movie and nope, it had nothing to do with Herzberg's Theory or Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs. (Though, I'd recommend that Plant-squid monster to sort out his ‘anger management’ issues with an expert - pretty much like what was discussed in my Human Behavior class (OB). Lemme see….OK. Maybe not)

But I got free tickets.

And I am supposed we could collectively wheeze a sigh of relief?

Please, do not give me that tone. You know very well I am not lazy. I just prefer the term ‘economical with energy’.

Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that, see if anyone believes that. So was it worth it?

I guess, the movie was alright. Nothing spectacular or life-changing about it. Hell no, it's not going to win a Best Picture Oscar or, mercy!, Cannes. But it was a nice escapism, summer blockbuster, break-from-last minute-study kinda movie nonetheless.

You see, nowadays we only watch movie to 'escape', not to 'face' reality anymore. And what a better way than to 'create' our so called reality that feasting on our senses and waking the true demon inside everyone of us (pleasure of destroying). Hence - the onion skin-thin storyline.

Again, New York is in trouble. If it’s not mutated viruses, it’s the Marshmallow Man. Now it has the minor inconvenience of a bad-temered monstrous, evil plant and a golden army (?) running down 5th avenue.

And yet again (no prize for guessing), Hellboy and his freaky cohorts, girlfriend Liz and aquatic blue man reject Abe Sapien returns with mystic Johann Krauss to save the world.

Sigh.

It wasn’t exactly the worst 120 minutes of my life. Believe me, I had worst. But another 60 minutes after that, WOO, was probably the toilet-inducing, self-hating, worst kinda feeling…you know, that guilty feeling… arghhh...

Great. Now, let’s talk about Saturday - the exam day. How did it turn out?

Nah. I won’t tell.

Exactly.

"Luther, You May Rest In Peace"

Everyone knows I love to sing. I mean really really.

Heck, given a fat chance that I would have an illegal vocal chord implant with the late Luther Vandross's or should this world have listened on to a totally different wavelength I would be singing my way to superstardom now.

Sigh!

But God probably has a much bigger plan for me (which I am still waiting) and so I am reduced to share my non-implant, non-Luther Vandross, raw talent in a dingy karaoke joint. (So the wavelength outside the room would remain un-distorted)



Have mercy, God has a much bigger plan for him, alright!

Saturday night, me, Azril, Zack and Nazrol were ‘crashing’ the Red Box, Sogo, quite literally and we had a blast of time. We stayed there for more than three hours and I never felt this liberating for the longest time. It felt really good to let your voice be heard - but we eerily sensed that the feelings were not mutual - from the sound system, no less.

The sound system sucks big time but you know what, we were definitely NOT.

Luther, you may rest in peace now.

I'm Ready

Some song just couldn’t quit. They keep playing in your head and just like an old photo album they keep turning back the pages for you. They become part of your life stories.

So, you couldn’t either stop smiling or weeping every time you hear them on the radio, as the memories of the past unfolded in front of you.

But now as I am talking about these kinds of songs, one particular stands up.

Many years ago, when I was in college, I still remember asking my dear friend Harith, to copy me a selection of some of my favorite songs in a cassette. (Mind you, this is back in the day when cassettes reigned supreme over CD and I was a student!) And since he had the means – a huge mini compo that looked like something out of a sci-fi movie - he said yes.

True, after couple of days waiting patiently, he handed me over the cassette with all my favorite 90s hits in it - from Keith Martin to Boys II Men and what I didn’t know at first, he also included one ‘mystery’ song for me.

“I have this one song I want you to hear, I thought you might like it”

That song was ‘I’m Ready’ by Tevin Campbell.

And boy, was I hooked ever since. It was the best track on that little ‘pirated’ compilation and I played it over and over again throughout my years in that college.



Fast-forward 13 years later (yesterday to be exact, during lunchtime) as destiny would have it, I chanced upon this CD on the music store and in matter of seconds I snapped it off of the shelves. It felt like as though I ‘bought back’ the memories. Suddenly, all the nostalgic moments come rushing back to me, momentarily.

To me the song was like an official soundtrack to that period in my life. It’s my dedicated theme to old friends/team back in college days like Fairuz, Faizal, KA and of course Harith. I guess it would be much easier now to reminisce the bad times and good times together (And boy, aren’t they plenty!)

It’s funny how part of your life can be unfolded in a mere 4 minutes but it does. Sigh, I miss those good ol’ times.

Gosh I swear, at this moment, if anyone could turn back the hand of time and offers me to re-live it all over again - I’d say, O yes.

Bring it on, I am soo ready!