The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Since today is Oscar night, I think I am gonna talk about movies. Nope, I haven’t watched all the movies that have been nominated, but I think two out of five is good enough.

Recently, thanks to our, ehem, booming “piracy industry”, I managed to catch ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ and ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ on DVD. And, boy, what great movies they were. I fell instantly in love. Movies like these make me emotional, alright, but who says a guy couldn’t shed a tear or two?

Unfortunately or rather fortunately, this is not a review. I won’t even tell how the stories go (In this world of IMDb and Wikipedia, why waste 500 good words on them here?). I'm just gonna tell you how I felt and what moved me; my honest opinion on them, with a hope you guys are not resistant to sharing.

What I like the most about the movies is that they are made of very strong, identifiable male characters in overcoming the adversities - something that I can totally relate myself to. The words “poverty” and “aging” are hitting close at home. Err, you know, with me losing my wallet, my teeth and all recently. My heart simply sank for them. It’s like they are talking about my life. My eyes were a little misty, I kid you not.

They deal too with something that I held so dear to my heart; true love and sex. (Oh yes, they are very important to me but let’s just leave it at that). And to think that someone would enter a popular TV’s games show like ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ (instead of, say, 'Bolos') just to be with the love of his life? Wow, that's must count for something, man! If that’s not super 'hornily' romantic, I really don’t what is.



Both movies are rich in ironies both funny and bitter, about the inevitably love and loss. As well as the gulf that exists between how we live our life and the life we’re in. These movies demand us to feel not only for the suffering we witness, but also for the incredible life we discover.

They talk about the importance of “letting go when you need to” or “how our lives are defined by opportunities”. And in case of Benjamin Button, Oh well, I simply miss New Orleans.

I hope I could wake up to reality someday and realize that all are still not lost for me. I want to be just like Benjamin Button or Jamal Malik; only richer, better looking and much younger.

And by the end of the day, I just want to be able to cry watching my movies, without being judged!

Cry Me A River

Last week was particularly un-spectacular for me. I was beyond distraught. I lost two of the most precious things in my life - my wallet and my teeth. Devastated does not even begin to describe how I felt.

It was all started on Sunday night. I was hanging out with Sham, AJ, Shah and Eirul, and we were about to call it a night when I realized my 100%-genuine-leather-totally-imported wallet suddenly disappeared. Yeap, just like that. Gone.

Nevermind the Bonuslink and Tesco cards in it; imagine the horror of me waiting in 100-plus -people lines at the JPN, JPJ and CIMB counters with bad service. Imagine too the horror of me forking up my hard-earned money to replace all those things, plus all the money I’ve already lost. Hell, I might be better off living on the street!

And to keep saying, ‘things couldn’t get any worse than this”, boy, couldn’t I be more wrong? The next day came the second coming of BAD KARMA - my dentist refused my request to postpone the surgery! How’s that for ‘my-life-is-suck-right-now pathos?

"The next available appointment date would be on May, and looking at the rate your gum and teeth eating each other, I don’t think you can afford to defer that much longer, well unless, of course if you think ‘swollen gum’ look is all in the rage right now". (Funny!)

So there I was surrendering my fate and my rotten teeth to a pair of scalpel and “a clown”. I have been on medical leave ever since and GOD, in a lot of pain.

Trying to understand how bad things can actually happen to good people might just make my head explode. I simply can’t believe all these things are happening to me now. Life is so unfair.

So I think I am keeping this – oh yeah - to remind me probably all it isn’t lost for me yet.....

.....the ache still lives on, alright!

I Happened To Like Winning And Kicking Butts

I have always hated Family day. I am almost certain I did swear I'd never go the corporate family get-together wreck again. Why? Let me count the ways: 1) It was boring, 2) I am a single, childless dude who hates children 3) I’ve always being ended up alone or felt terribly lonely. Oh, and did I mention it was beyond boring?



But this year, despite my undying reservations, I stayed for few hours. That itself is quite an achievement for Mr Sceptic me! I guess I get a kick out seeing people kicking each other's butt.

Was it lackluster? That's an understatement. But did I still join every single game in the family telematch? Well, almost. Did I win anything? Oh yeah

So will I come again next year? Without a doubt.



I should be ashamed of myself, but at this point, I'm too lazy to care what anyone thinks of me. I happened to like my winning. And "kicking someone’s ass in telematch games" is now my guiltiest pleasure, and I've come to embrace it.



Just that next year, don’t make me wear one of these!

Kick my ass if you caught me in these, will ya. Heck, I'll kick my own ass!

What's Left Of Me

I’ve had been waiting for this moment for weeks. It dominated my work life, overtook my social life and occasionally invaded my dreams. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I just wanted to get it over with so I could move on with my life.

So last Thursday morning, exactly 8.30am, I stood by that squeaky, germ-free counter, worn my bravest front and declared to the world:

“I have an appointment, I need a surgery.”

The air was so thick I felt I could cut it with a knife. No, I wasn’t afraid or anything like that, I was just sad - sad to think I was about to lose another body part, this young in my age. I felt really old.

After a few moment of waiting and agonizing (which translates to ‘few hours’ in public hospital time) they finally called up my number. Solemnly they ushered me to the (gasp!) so-called Operation Room No. 42 and cruelly made me wait some more. The temperature plummeted to sub-zero at once. Suddenly everything looked grim.

And as I sat on that chilly operation chair, trying to imagine rainbows, unicorns and all those happy stuff and such I prayed, ‘O God, if this is my another very bad, weird nightmare of mine, please, please WAKE ME UP NOW'.

My feeble pray was immediately dashed. A young, fresh-looking dentist emerged from another room. He was grinning from ear to ear, apparently sensing unmistakably tension in the air. So he tried to make small talks. He started asking questions, inappropriate questions like ‘Why are you still single?’ What’s your favorite movie?’ Who’s your favorite Powerpuff Girl? and such and all those questions you wouldn’t think remotely related to misbehaving molars or rotten denture.

“Is there anything else I need to know about before we proceed?”

I thought hard for the answer.

“Yes, I hate blood; I can’t stand people poking into my month; I don’t like the sound of drilling; I am not crazy about needles either; and bright lights bother me; and Oh is there a way we can do this without me be in the same room with you?”

He chuckled. He thought that was pretty amusing.

“We’ll see about that, now why don’t you be a dear and get your denture X-ray-ed first”

(It turned out, it was a pretty too much to ask of him. It took me 45 excruciating minutes to get the job done, and trust me it wasn’t really a walk in the park for those medical assistants either. I seriously had problem with people putting metal things in my mouth without me throwing up my entire morning snacks)

Now the poor guy convinced, I do have a problem.

“En. Mustaffa, it’s obvious you are not ready for this. I think you have an overly sensitive mouth (you think?). Now why don’t we fix another appointment in a couple of weeks so that we can arrange an anesthetizing procedure for you? I promised this time it will be painless and more tolerable for you, you wouldn’t even awake to notice that".

I am not good with dealing with pain. I usually ran from it. But it looks like this time I’ll just sleep through it.

Sigh, this is just great, I am gonna lose my tooth and now they are going to sedate me like I am some kind of a wild animal, could there be any more dignity left of me?