The Fact Of Life

I am just annoyed by how fast I am losing my hair. Now I look like Bruce Willis after some decades of terrible luck. It’s really frustrating.

A few nights ago, after changing the bulb light in my room, I was finally able to look in the mirror clearly and see the reflection of my pores. And just like that, I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before.

Forget the clogging pores, dammit, I noticed how shiny my head looked like in the mirror, much like the oily backside of a newborn baby!

"Oh Man, this is really bad. It’s starting!"

And this, despite the fact that I drenched my scalp with franch oil for years now, every time I stand in front of a mirror, which quite honestly, about two dozen times a day.

And Oh.My.God. The franch oil makes my scalp itch madly, which feels like my genetic material mutating up there. Sheesh, I tell you, before I am sixty, I’ll mostly likely have to have my cancerous scalp removed and replaced with hip tissue because of that goddammit cheating oil.

Still I can't help it, my loser-with-dangerously-thinning-hair self need something that will 'work' with my toxic scalp right now. And as far as I am concerned, baldness is the male breast cancer. Only much worse because almost everyone gets it. True, it’s not life threatening. Just social life threatening. But in the planet where I live in, there is no different.

Urm, you know what, I am thinking maybe I should just get my head tattooed to look like very short stubble instead. Nobody would know unless they got very close to me, right? - my intimacy issues prevent that. Genius, right?

Fine. Okay, maybe I go a lil' overboard with this hair thing. Whatever!

So yesterday I went to Jusco and saw this product in the hair section called 'C. Michael’s Anti Hair Loss Treatment Spray and Shampoo'. The label claims "promotes the growth of healthy hair and leaves hair with healthy body, volume and shine". I bought three bottles.

The technology has improved, was my thinking. So will be my chances in my soon-to-be thriving social life.

It better be.