About Adam and life

There are few things in life that can get me all choke up with emotions, and this got to be one of them! Since he was born on 31 January to my sister this year, this little angel has brought joy and smiles in our family.

The very thought of him enough to make us thankful that we are one as a family. As a family before this, there are episodes of heartbreak but he manages to makes us all forget about that in just one giggle.

He may not be able to walk and talk yet! (imagine what I miss, to know that I won't be able to witness his first step, utter the first word), but if ever he could, I'd tell him what to do with that beautiful smile of his.

Adam makes me realise how I should stop be thinking about myself and pay attention to people around me. Life is not all about fullfilling your own desire and getting your own way, there are people who cares about you but something we tend push them away without even realising it.

I have watched my little sister becoming a woman like she is now but I rarely appreciated her. Seems like yesterday I sent her to school and played and shared our toys together but it seems like a long forgotten dreams.

I want to make amend and turn things around.

I am in my 30s already, and my life is nowhere like my sister. She has a stable job and her own little family to depend on. Maybe I should be thinking about that too!.

I am hoping by the time Adam old enough to learn about life he'd be able to see me as an uncle that he can look up to and be proud of.

Letter for a friend

Dear friend,

Reading your posting today got me thinking,"maybe I miss u after all".

Yesterday, after we cleaned up the house, I gazed a few moments at the empty house and series of events flashed before my eyes. I felt sadness.

(Since we are no longer 'housemate' I do think I owe u a disclosure and trust me in any other circumstances, this is usually aint me!)

I still remember the day when u asked me to rent a modest flat together by LRT and I said to myself "this might not be a wise idea", (taking cue of our history back in school days...hehehe). But as fate have it, I did and boy, what a 'turbulent' 4 years it was!

Living with u is not always easy, sure u have your quirkiness and annoying eccentrics (not that I dont know u). Years that I know u ,u always have swinging mood, opiniated and refused to listen other people's stand,very competetitive which bordering to boostful but over time I guess, I have to respect u for having this 'strong personalities'(to put mildly)...

Remember when we stopped talking to each other (man! that was something...heheh) over petty issues. Truth to be told, I hated u because of my failure. I failed to get through u to tell u how I felt. I failed to live up to your expectation because the judgemental nature u have!. I failed to have my own stand from being influenced by others.
And how I dealt with this?...I'd simply 'disappear'. I made a lot of excuses not to see u. Not very matured huh!. And this is the period I felt pain. I felt trapped in that house but I have no where to go.

I guess the only thing that keep us bonded all this while is that you are the only friends, and I repeat with God honest truth, the only friends that really inspire me to become a better son, stimulate my rusty brain with topics other than my own life, make me see that life ain't rosy and easy as our school days.

Remember all those little chats we have ranging from movies, politics, religion, economics and social issues, and u never failed to amazed me with your depth of knowledge. Trust me I dont get that from any other friends. U know how we share passion about movies,yes, from Iranian to Hollywood. I remember when I took offend, when u dissed KING KONG cause I thought u didnt give the movie a proper credit and biased against Hollywood production. Some fight huh!..hehe.I value those moments.

For whatever it worth, u really be there for me when times get rough....and NEVER, ever, ever think that I never acknowledge that!

Days ago, remember u asked me whether I'd like to stay with u and I said 'I'll confirm' but I never did?. Truth, I never expected u'd ever invited me, more so, just before few days u moved in. But I really appreciated it,(I thought u are done with me...hehe). Anyway it felt like Deja Vu of 4 years back when u asked the same question.

This time, I decided, I want to grow up and take up the challenge and be a BETTER friend to you. I may not be your best housemates these years but to me you are!

From now on, I may have a new housemate, meet new friends, have a new life, but I hope this would not be the end of our friendship. I still want to have those 'chats' and 'fights'. Plus I am still on your "debtors list"...heheh

By the time you read this, you may still not know me, other people wouldn't know me at all!, but u know me the most!...and that really count something!