"I Love You But I Love Myself More"

My weekend was all about sex, love, relationship and more, err, sex. Not that I had any at the moment, mind you, I am saving myself for a certain someone. But now that I got your attention, let me tell you what’s coursing through my ‘’unpure’’ mind all these days.

First, I got ‘hooked up’ with four classy ladies from New York. Nooo, not the way that you imagined, you slimebag. Actually, they are Miranda, Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte, so it kinda more like, go on say it, in ‘my’ imagination – I watched the full season six of Sex And The City on VCD straight, (O yeah, you heard that right!)

My two cents on it; Wow, what a frank, revealing look, in-your-face take on sex, love, relationship and anything that comes in between. I am sold. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Honestly, it’s quite a decent series. It completely makes me re-asses my ‘’old-fashioned’ views on ‘the birds and the bees’ and makes me want to yell the S-word on the street. So, ehem, I bought the DVD movie. OK not the coolest thing to admit, I know, but I think I’ve become obsessed about relationship, especially my non-existent one.

And in the wake of it all I realized being in love is required so much work, let alone finding one. I hate making that much sacrifice. I guess that explains my laid back attitude towards pursuing ‘the one’ (I am 30, damnit!) Unsurprisingly, I didn’t think there’s such thing as ‘’true love’’ or ‘’love at the first sight’’. In fact, I believe there’s no happily ever after.

Let’s face it, when two people were deeply in love they promised each other the moon and the sun but when adoration and affection go off tangent, it can morph into anything from warped to plain cruel. (Hello, Rihanna). And just like the conversation I had with Sham over YM the other day about a certain someone we know (cough, Shah, cough); disaster comes in many forms. Constant compromise at your expense is the first sign.

Many times, this friend of ours was complaining about his “sticky’’ relationship. We were made to believe he wanted out so badly. However he said whenever he tries to leave the relationship, he turns from Rottweiler to pet poodle and the partner coaxes him back. He said he feels sorry for her. I am wiling to wager that everyone was silently thinking; is this guy serious? But that’s the thing about being in a toxic relationship; you rarely recognize or accept you are in one.

I guess this is the part where I feel much better about my single status. I might even learn a thing or two – like the importance of loving yourself before others. And just to borrow a line in Samantha’s wisdom page; I love you, but I think I love myself more.

Oh my, I am Samantha. Did you cringe? O yeah, I think we all did