The Blame Game

I am a mess. Right now, my room looks exactly like an exploded recycle plant or something. It’s a total hopeless situation. There’s a pile after pile of unrecognized, urm, stuff. And man, it looks like something can really evolve in there.

Relax, I am not gonna post any photo evident here. The image would be too shocking, too gruesome; it’d give you weeks of sleepless nights. Trust me, I, haven’t sleep that well for weeks now.

Lately I am too tired to clean up after myself. Since the start of Ramadan, I feel too bushed and sleepy like, all the time to even care about my personal hygiene, much less, personal grooming. This year, fasting seems a little bit harder than before. I just lie around on my bed and wait for my housemate to dab wet towel around my mouth. I feel like I am 2-year old again.

For the most part, my day consists of sitting in a chair or lying, and maybe 'microwave-ing' something for berbuka, if I really want to strain myself. As such, I’m not really exerting myself that much, and thus, I usually don’t feel that dirty. I still shower every day, at least once a day. But I often just put the same clothes on after I shower, because they don’t seem “dirty” to me. I’m not above spraying some perfume or some air freshener on a t-shirt that I’ve already worn for two days and putting it on again. Does this make me gross? I’m actually pretty smell-conscious, and I think I can tell when an article of clothing has gone "sour”. Just this week, I wore the same pair of sweatpants and the same t-shirt for two and a half days. Does this make me gross? Not public sewage gross, but normal gross?

And just a couple days ago, I watched this Oprah re-run on Hallmark and she had this so-called special segment for hoarders in America. It’s basically about what are they and how they live their life - their home, family and stuff.

All I can say, *cue roll eyes*, “That’s nothing, dahling, come see my room now, and those hoarders’ houses would look like a NASA Research Lab in comparison". Seriously.

The thing that really bugs me right now, and probably shocking to some people, I used to be very neat and tidy *cue laugh track*. I freaked out seeing my dirty laundry lying around the house and I never wore the same socks two days in a row. (I am sure my ex-housemate, Hasmiron can attest to that)

God, I really don’t know how did I get here? I really want my old self back – the neat and the not-so-fat one, but right now it's too hot and I am thirsty. Sigh.

Great. Now instead of getting up and doing something about it, I find it much easier to blame it on puasa and write about it here.

And, as the Queen Oprah said on the show; it’s the first common thing among us, lazy ass, hoarders.

Damn you!