Silent Treatment

I asked my friend yesterday whether in any heated argument we had, he'd rather be treated a silence treatment or a major confrontation from me?. He answered he wasn't sure which one was worse but conceeded from his own admission that probably talking after hurting (with words) to each other was harder to do.

So there you go, I am guessing that other than to complement my gigantic ego I rather stop talking than hurting my friend more. Not that I think I should apologise, mind you!, but it's just not worth the air I breath. Plus I don't see any reason to feed their egos either.

People when hurt are hard to contain their emotions. I won't risk myself look foolish in front of them if I dare to be "Mr. Transparent" here.

Make no mistake that I never disown any of my friend. I just lost interest to know more about his/her life. When I do that I hope they will do the same to me.

Things that happened

Few things happened to me for the last 24 hrs.man! I am exhausted already...some good,some bad, some not so bad or good either!

1. Boboy got a job at Kelana Jaya (some animation company). He'll be here this weekend so most probably I'll be spending most of my weekend with him. Congrats bro!....I am happy for you

2. My ex-hsemate sms ed me "minta maaf"...hmmmm.

3. I 'accidently' smashed my precious, 3G, not fully paid phone!!!.....arghhhhhhhh ...things couldn't get more annoying than this!!

I am the entertainment guy!!

I received a letter today. Not any kind of letter. I rarely receive letters, (bar lawyer's letters and bank statements!). And this should be about time. Chosen to be one of the committe of one of the main event organized by Bank is indeed an honor.So I chose to share it here. So save your thought!

Tuan,

PELANTIKAN SEBAGAI AHLI JAWATANKUASA
MAJLIS ANUGERAH KHIDMAT SETIA (AKS) TAHUN 2007

Dengan hormatnya perkara di atas adalah dirujuk.

Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa puan dilantik sebagai Ahli Jawatankuasa bagi Majlis Anugerah Khidmat Setia Tahun 2007.

Dengan pelantikan ini, diharap puan dapat menjalankan tanggungjawab dengan cekap dan bekerjasama dengan ahli-ahli jawatankuasa lain untuk menjayakan majlis ini.

Kerjasama puan didahului dengan ucapan terima kasih.

Calvin & Hobbes

Not sure how many of you have been a follower of any comic strip. I have been a fan of 'Calvin and Hobbes' since forever!(now that exaggeration). It's a smart if not intelligent piece of bone tickler!..

Kevin is a everyday 8 years old kid with this imaginary friends Hobbes, a stuffed tiger. Kevin leads a perfectly normal life, but things around him challenges him everyday to make something out of anything so that they are making sense.

It's funny cause we, an adult, always fail to appreciate a little humour in our everyday lives while kid always find every little thing that ever crosses their eyes amusing. I suspect their un-tainted soul able to see things as they are cause they never complicated things like adult love to do.

They see, they touch, they know and learn things with unsuspecting heart and pure thought. I guess the thing I like about Kevin is that is a spoof our adult life. While on the surface it's just a joke about silly and bratty kid, it dares to explore questions that adult even failed to answer. It deals with adult issue sometimes without we ever realising it (it's done with total subtlety).

Kevin reminds me of what I was and what I've become. I learn more now to appreciate a few laugh in between dramas, never stress out over trivial issues and never complicated things than they already are.

Sometimes simplicity is the way go. Life shouldn't be that complicated right?. Maybe a 'simple' life is what I need now.

I've subscribed the daily issue via email, just so u know!...heheh

Heart Full of Soul

Something worth checking out guys!!....I, for one, am sure be on the first line.

Taylor Hicks, the winner of American Idol's fifth season, has found a release date for his upcoming memoir. The book is entitled “Heart Full of Soul” and will be released to the public on Tuesday, July 10. The book will be released by Rand House Publishing.

My everything

I have a new favourite song and it gives me sense of hope and joy every time I hear it over the radio. I think I am gonna get the CD from the store soon. It's called 'My Everything' by one of my most favourite male singer of all time, Michael Buble. It goes something like this;

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.
And you play you're coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,You're every minute of my everyday.
And I can't believe, that I'm your man,And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,And you know that's what our love can do.

Story of a heartbreak

Of late, my life seems like spiraling out of control. I am not myself lately. Damn, I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown!

The sad thing is I used to be the most optimistic man out there. I always looked a brighter side of things, strolled one day at a time and woke up to a morning shine like a little child.

What happen to me now is hard to understand. I woke up frightened every morning thinking of another battle that awaits me promised yet another humiliating defeats.

I remember seeing one of those soup operas and wondering how the main protagonists coming out victoriously from one tragedy to another bigger ones under the pretext ‘happily ever after’ and still look mighty fine in those designer outfits and perfect complexion. Huh! some people still like to live in denial.

Ironic aside, it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to maintain my sanity these days. My world full of anger and hatred and I sense that people out to get me every time. I look people with smile in the face with envy while I can hardly pull a muscle to smile and find that to frown is much more easy.

I was told that problems never really go away, they actually stay around you so that you can learn to live. It’s the only way one man can grow. They change your view on life every time so that you have a better understanding our very own existence. This will only make you strong and wise.

At this point I conceded there is so much ‘living’ and ‘growing’ I can take.

I probably can talk to someone I can trust but my ego seems to get the better of me. People around me always expecting something greater than I really am and I feel I’d disappoint them. This is eating me up a lot lately and has taken a heavy toll on me.

I am now on my bed, chanting quietly in my heart that there are people worse off than me somewhere in the universe and I am dying to know them.

About Adam and life

There are few things in life that can get me all choke up with emotions, and this got to be one of them! Since he was born on 31 January to my sister this year, this little angel has brought joy and smiles in our family.

The very thought of him enough to make us thankful that we are one as a family. As a family before this, there are episodes of heartbreak but he manages to makes us all forget about that in just one giggle.

He may not be able to walk and talk yet! (imagine what I miss, to know that I won't be able to witness his first step, utter the first word), but if ever he could, I'd tell him what to do with that beautiful smile of his.

Adam makes me realise how I should stop be thinking about myself and pay attention to people around me. Life is not all about fullfilling your own desire and getting your own way, there are people who cares about you but something we tend push them away without even realising it.

I have watched my little sister becoming a woman like she is now but I rarely appreciated her. Seems like yesterday I sent her to school and played and shared our toys together but it seems like a long forgotten dreams.

I want to make amend and turn things around.

I am in my 30s already, and my life is nowhere like my sister. She has a stable job and her own little family to depend on. Maybe I should be thinking about that too!.

I am hoping by the time Adam old enough to learn about life he'd be able to see me as an uncle that he can look up to and be proud of.

Letter for a friend

Dear friend,

Reading your posting today got me thinking,"maybe I miss u after all".

Yesterday, after we cleaned up the house, I gazed a few moments at the empty house and series of events flashed before my eyes. I felt sadness.

(Since we are no longer 'housemate' I do think I owe u a disclosure and trust me in any other circumstances, this is usually aint me!)

I still remember the day when u asked me to rent a modest flat together by LRT and I said to myself "this might not be a wise idea", (taking cue of our history back in school days...hehehe). But as fate have it, I did and boy, what a 'turbulent' 4 years it was!

Living with u is not always easy, sure u have your quirkiness and annoying eccentrics (not that I dont know u). Years that I know u ,u always have swinging mood, opiniated and refused to listen other people's stand,very competetitive which bordering to boostful but over time I guess, I have to respect u for having this 'strong personalities'(to put mildly)...

Remember when we stopped talking to each other (man! that was something...heheh) over petty issues. Truth to be told, I hated u because of my failure. I failed to get through u to tell u how I felt. I failed to live up to your expectation because the judgemental nature u have!. I failed to have my own stand from being influenced by others.
And how I dealt with this?...I'd simply 'disappear'. I made a lot of excuses not to see u. Not very matured huh!. And this is the period I felt pain. I felt trapped in that house but I have no where to go.

I guess the only thing that keep us bonded all this while is that you are the only friends, and I repeat with God honest truth, the only friends that really inspire me to become a better son, stimulate my rusty brain with topics other than my own life, make me see that life ain't rosy and easy as our school days.

Remember all those little chats we have ranging from movies, politics, religion, economics and social issues, and u never failed to amazed me with your depth of knowledge. Trust me I dont get that from any other friends. U know how we share passion about movies,yes, from Iranian to Hollywood. I remember when I took offend, when u dissed KING KONG cause I thought u didnt give the movie a proper credit and biased against Hollywood production. Some fight huh!..hehe.I value those moments.

For whatever it worth, u really be there for me when times get rough....and NEVER, ever, ever think that I never acknowledge that!

Days ago, remember u asked me whether I'd like to stay with u and I said 'I'll confirm' but I never did?. Truth, I never expected u'd ever invited me, more so, just before few days u moved in. But I really appreciated it,(I thought u are done with me...hehe). Anyway it felt like Deja Vu of 4 years back when u asked the same question.

This time, I decided, I want to grow up and take up the challenge and be a BETTER friend to you. I may not be your best housemates these years but to me you are!

From now on, I may have a new housemate, meet new friends, have a new life, but I hope this would not be the end of our friendship. I still want to have those 'chats' and 'fights'. Plus I am still on your "debtors list"...heheh

By the time you read this, you may still not know me, other people wouldn't know me at all!, but u know me the most!...and that really count something!