Story of a heartbreak

Of late, my life seems like spiraling out of control. I am not myself lately. Damn, I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown!

The sad thing is I used to be the most optimistic man out there. I always looked a brighter side of things, strolled one day at a time and woke up to a morning shine like a little child.

What happen to me now is hard to understand. I woke up frightened every morning thinking of another battle that awaits me promised yet another humiliating defeats.

I remember seeing one of those soup operas and wondering how the main protagonists coming out victoriously from one tragedy to another bigger ones under the pretext ‘happily ever after’ and still look mighty fine in those designer outfits and perfect complexion. Huh! some people still like to live in denial.

Ironic aside, it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to maintain my sanity these days. My world full of anger and hatred and I sense that people out to get me every time. I look people with smile in the face with envy while I can hardly pull a muscle to smile and find that to frown is much more easy.

I was told that problems never really go away, they actually stay around you so that you can learn to live. It’s the only way one man can grow. They change your view on life every time so that you have a better understanding our very own existence. This will only make you strong and wise.

At this point I conceded there is so much ‘living’ and ‘growing’ I can take.

I probably can talk to someone I can trust but my ego seems to get the better of me. People around me always expecting something greater than I really am and I feel I’d disappoint them. This is eating me up a lot lately and has taken a heavy toll on me.

I am now on my bed, chanting quietly in my heart that there are people worse off than me somewhere in the universe and I am dying to know them.