Hope Couture

*Hope couture
(howp’ku toor)n.

The item of clothing you keep for years in the vain hope you might fit back into it someday.
(also wishfits, martin-luthers, as in “I have a dream….”)

I had a long, boring, uneventful weekend, so basically it was a perfect time for ‘Me’ time and I did exactly what a ‘perfectly’ normal people would do during weekend – cleaning. Yes, I ended up cleaning out my closet for two days. I guess when you rarely peek into your deepest corner of your wardrobe that’d bound to happen.

Anyway, I started the historical deeds by separating all my wardrobes into four categories;
1) Favorite clothes - cause they fit nicely without me wheezing out loudly when I put them on.
2) Things I don’t need. Probably they no longer fit or in fashion.
3) More than 2 year-old clothes that I still keep - in hope that I’ll be able to fit in later in my lifetime.
4) Other items of clothing that barely legal or near-offensive. i.e my swimming attires, my undies and my PJs

Then something cruel dawned to me. The harshest truth, fact of life came crashing down on my ample body. Half of my closet falls under category three. I leaned back and closed my eyes, riding out the shame in waves. So what am I gonna do with this?

Should I burn them all? Donate those to needy as blankets? Or should I be patience and keep it? They are so many. Suddenly I felt so attached to them. For some reasons it brought the painful memory of being ‘not fat’ not so long ago. An era I still can’t get myself over with.

"Wow, I used to run in these little hot pants”

"Hey, I remember worn this tiny shirt while frolicking on the beach"

I think I am gonna keep those clothes. After all, this ‘fat thing’ is only temporarily. I’ll be back thinner and better in no time and I am gonna wear them all. I am gonna save my hard-earned money for something more meaningful like buying a new scale or more undies and I shall banish that category three forever.

Until that happens, no cleaning out the closet for me. Let it be just that.

I figure somewhere between size L and XXL, I must have learned a few things.

Duh.