The Pancake Killer II

I am so bumped. Nothing was working out for me lately. First my favorite American Idol contestant was booted out, and then, I ran over someone's cat, and now this? Maybe it’s that karma thing or maybe I was just being overdramatic silly, but I do feel like a first-class loser.

Let me tell you something, I am a man with a simple dream. I don’t ask much out of this life. In fact I am pretty much content with whatever God has given me – zits, cellulite and all. But when my second time attempts in preparing an instant pancake for human consumption failed miserably (twice!), I took the whole sad episode to the heart and really *sniffle* cried. Of course I was devastated.

It’s hopeless. I can’t even feed myself without risking a major health disaster. I can’t even make that damn pancake fluff! Without a can opener and God forbid, ‘How To’ steps at the back of the box, I tell you, I’ll sure be dead.

I was about to give up the whole AFC chef host dream altogether, when I bumped into a friend at the supermarket and we got to talking, you know, just catch-up stuff. I mentioned about the pancake debacle for some reason, I forget why. And before long, she agreed to help me with my non-existent kitchen skills and she even promised to share with me some of her cooking-for-dummies recipe. At first I thought ‘Isn’t that a hoot?’.

"Anyway, why sudden interest in cooking and baking? Isn’t it a little too…effeminate even for you?”

Great, now out of nothing, she attacked me with the only thing I am prided myself on: my polished, chromosomally-damaged, testosterone-pumping masculinity.

"No reason, I just like the idea of preparing something decent for you whenever you might come visiting”. I gritted my teeth to dust.

...So I can poison-feed you with my killer instant pancake! You, sexist, fake, snooty bitch!!

Speaking about bitch-ing, remember last week I ranted about how I didn’t care about people knew a bit about my past, about my former school - Sains Muar and former friends?

And now it’s in the news.

A couple days go, my former school was in the news. I freaking do not believe it. I mean, can’t say I was particularly surprise, it’s always been a good school. After all, it produced me! Erk! Anyway, it’s just that I never expected to see it still performs so well after all these years.

Quite honestly, I used to really hate the school very very much. I hated the students, I hated the teachers, I hated everything in it or associated with it. I’ve always felt like out of place. I never felt happy or belonged to that school. Two years was a real torture. I remember I only agreed to stay, just to please my parent and more importantly to be out of that sleepy hollow they called it Segamat.

But it doesn’t really matter now. Looking back, I realized I got as many good memories too. I’ve met many great friends, friends like Hasmiron, Zetty and erm, few others. I guess I just suppress many of the good ones because the bad ones are more prominent. So it’s easy to associate all the memories – good and bad - with all pains.

Maybe I don’t say this often enough, but I am proud to be part of the school's legacy. I really am. I just need a little reminder like this, every year when the SPM results come out. Heck, should the school come up top again next year, I might even consider coming for the reunion, who knows, snort, I’d even bake and bring a cake or two! Noo...