Vampire On Valium

It's 3.00 in the morning and I can't sleep. I had an incredibly vivid dream. I don't exactly remember what it was about but I am sure as hell it involved Mariah Carey, a pony and me causing a twenty-two-car pileup on the PLUS highway. OK maybe not that “vivid” like scene-by-scene replay, but I swear I can still smell Mariah and blood in my hands.

I woke up soaked in cold sweat.

As I am writing this on my Brazillian Oak table in my RM900++ hotel suite; I wonder, “Was the dream – though in subtlety - trying to tell me something completely mental?" – like maybe Mariah would divorce her child-fish husband, Nick Canon and marry me, the devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful vampire? But then, what was it about me causing the bloody pileup on the highway? And what it has anything to do with her at all? And since when I am a vampire!? Man, interpreting dream is such a confusing business. Pah!

Or maybe I was just a bundle of nerves and that caused an incoherent, plotless nighmare like that. Oh that's right! Of course I am kinda nervous right now.

I am actually organizing a leadership program for our management team in this exotic out-of-town resort. We invited consultants/speakers from Australia and it costs the Bank a bomb. I have been here since Friday and tomorrow is the last day - the evaluation day. Gosh, what might the participants say about the program? Would they find the program beneficial to them? Would they even like it? It's pretty nerve-wreaking for me.

Just this afternoon, my boss came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder; I almost vaulted to the ceiling. “Wow, I guess you're a little jumpy, huh?” she laughed. She didn't know the half of it.

Oh God!, I just heard a noise. I hope it's not a serial killer. Ever since I saw that "No Country For Old Men" on HBO, I am paranoid about serial killers. Any of the staff here could be one. Especially that crazy cleaning lady who always makes up my room. I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat. She just looks hungry in some dangerous way that can't be explained. She's always so nice and friendly. Exactly the disposition of a baby killer.

Great, now I need a Valium.