.....And I Thought My Life Was Boring

Before I even rolled out of bed yesterday, I gave myself a marching order.

“Today, I want to see good, exciting things happen to me – I am tired of feeling empty and bored to death – I need some cheering up and I am gonna make it happen, if I have too”

So, true to the promise I somehow saw a little improvement. Maybe it’s the magic of wishing and praying thing, I don’t know but lord, I was effortlessly, positively happy yesterday.

Good thing delivered very early in the morning. I received a little nice surprise, a little too late maybe, but boy, do I love gift! A birthday card signed personally by my COO and BSN Premium Certificate as a birthday gift from Bank. Aww…how sweet eh! This definitely adds to a long list on why I love working here. Here some pictures for your green eyes.

Look closely and you might see the value.

That's a real ink from COO's pen, OK!

Goodie!

Immediately after I wept my happy tears, just before lunch, I led my Management Trainees team to visit tin coil factory in Pulau Indah for their weekly study trip. It felt like a school trip all over again, only this time I’d be the Cikgu Bedah – minus the batik scarf and the accompany ‘mulut murai’. (Or was it?)

Rear view of some of my trainees...ahem



That 'cap' suits me fine huh?

I kinda like playing Mr. Engineer here.

It was a fun and ‘fulfilling’ trip especially the part where the organizer treated us on seafood fare, by the seashore, at the end of the program. Yummy! This I like!

Comtemplating who's paying for this, I guess

Not me!

Then, late in the evening, I did what a good housemate would do; grocery shopping. I know it’s not easy doing this, you know, being on a diet and whatnots, a trip to grocery store can be torture. So it was with delight that, on my way back from the store, I saw a car whose owner had come to terms with his body. His bumper sticker gloated “Fat People Are Harder to Kidnap.” Cute!

And I thought my life is boring…..not this day!

Ho Ha Halloween!

These are the times of the year that it’s OK to pretend someone you are not and to make fun of those unfortunate, undead souls. I know it unspeakably lame but hey it’s Halloween!

Though I had only participated in this pseudo-holiday-to-celebrate-stupidity-and-inner-child night two times in my entire life, yet I still do feel goosebumps every time I hear that must songs; Ghostbusters and Unchained Melody (don’t ask!).

Sigh! It was such a fun crazy night, I swear. Not that I lost my virginity, mind you, but played dress-up gotta be the highlight of the night and you know what, I even got nice ‘rewards’ for that little effort I put up. Ehem, somehow this makes me feel like a whore, but O what I’d do for candy and chocolate bars!

Well, since we are on the subject, what was I supposed to be back then? Hell no, I am not telling. Something ‘Youtube’ worthy....maybe (hint!hint!)

Unfortunately here in Malaysia, Halloween is not openly celebrated though I can almost be certain most of the exclusive clubs around KL and big cities in Malaysia have their own private Halloween Party all planned out by now.

So what choices do we homemakers have? We are reduced to lazy TV shows like Seeker and Misteri Nusantara, that's what!

But fret no more, like a rain unto the sea, here I present to you some of the videos, claimed true and original by the sender, courtesy of a very good friend of mine, to blow your day and night away …spooky stuff! (Warning: Proceed under medical supervision. Not intended for children under 4 years old and pregnant ladies) .









Can’t believe your eyes? Creepy huh? But those are nothing. How’s this for a change?



My ‘diabolical-wicked-no-good-doer’ sister MMS-ed this horrible doctored picture of mine cause she thought that was funny…NOT! And NO that was not part of my Halloween costume I was talking about! Thankyouverymuch!!

She’ll be sorry she sent that.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Uninspired

I was staring at my computer screen, which was blank as my mind, wishing something extraordinaire would come out from the screen. OK cross that out – something genius would pop into my head and render me capable of producing a masterpiece of a post. But world-weariness has gotten the best of me.

And I hour later, I was still wishing. It was hopeless.

So I grabbed my camera and started snapping around my house, hoping something ‘interesting’ would ‘develop’ along the way on the vewfinder but still no avail. What was I thinking? I must be really crazy hoping to see something like that right? But hey, at least I have something to blog.

Anyway, nothing pitches my interest. Nothing at all.

Question of the hour: What would a bored man like me do to get the inspiration?



From people?......

Or from work?......

Or maybe from rewards?

While I let your imagination running wild I have to sleep on it.

Jar Of Gratitude

“Gratitude is like putting on a new pair of glasses, we see things in different ways”

Since Monday I have been busy with works, what’s with Management Trainee Programme, SIRIM Audit, CCP Classes, Executive Tea Talk and stuff, but today I finally have time to sit down, take a little breath from it all and spend some quiet, quality time with myself.

Life is crazy lately, so I decided to put things into perspective, you know, re-think my life a little bit. Surely pulling a Britney stunt isn’t something that anyone would like to see me doing at this moment right?

Well, someone has come out to me and said some about “count your blessing and try being thankful, it can be good for your health” or something to that effect.

Whatever that means.

Anyway I guess I am a sucker for ‘good for health’ promises, so I dug deep and finally realized, he might as well be talking the truth. And since I have nothing to lose, I dug deeper.

Keeping a blog, praying and meditating are some of the ways to go, something that I have been doing all this while, really, (I swear!) but they are a little bit too a ‘big’ thing for me, don’t you think? I mean all those stuff are neat and alright but you can hardly see result a few seconds before you run someone over, right? I need to see result fast! So I kept thinking.

Why not start small, you know, like index cards.

Index cards. That’s must be it!

Then, what I did was I grabbed all index cards that have been laying around on my desk and jotted down on each and every card things that I have been grateful for. You know, all lame-but-true stuff that I am or own, like ‘I have a job that I don’t hate’ and ‘I have family and friends that don’t hate me’ kind of things.

I was really taking my sweet time doing this cause I wanted to make it right. So, after that I collected and put all those index cards in a nice little jar. I called it my ‘gratitude jar’. And you know what am I gonna do with this? I am gonna take one card each time and whenever I feel blue. I am gonna call up names that appears on the card to say Thank you for the good things that ever happened to me because of them.

I, then rest my back, a little assured, knowing that at least I started something good for myself and I think like exercise, gratitude has to become a habit to work. And like exercise, it gets easier with time.

I am thinking on filling up the jar but never take out any card sooner.

I Am OK

Revelation is good. Open up is great and letting go is the way to go. I know this first hand cause I did just that last night.

Sorry that I have been quiet of late. Last few days have been crazy. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t eat, well maybe not as much before. I couldn’t think about anything else but my problems. You see, they are very important to me cause you know, they are mine.

And before you cast me down and pass this as ‘another whiny post’, let me drop a bombshell here: they were times I had been thinking that I might as well be in the news – that bad.

I learned in a hard way that in order to fan away negativities around me and maintain an acceptable level of my sanity, I must learn to let go; the feeling that I am not worthy or deserved anything good in my life.

All my life I have been a Shakespearan actor (pardon the uncanny comparison), putting a front to what people expect of me just to fit in. But this has been eating me a lot lately and I have come to realize that there’s certain limitation to my dignity and self-belief.

So what I did yesterday, marked another milestone for me, I finally told a friend what and how her actions so far hurts me and why my feelings should matter to her.

It was shaky and unsure at first, but once I planted my feet firm on the ground, gathered as much Zen energy from my surroundings (I guess), I gradually felt empowered and much calmer.

Then the moment of truth……..

Boy, am I glad I have gone through with that. It’s an adrenalin rush of not knowing what the consequences are and the sensational feelings of relief and gladness - all rolled into one. I feel a truckload lighter.

Had I chose any other way I guess I won’t be able to know and experience the power of revelation and joyfulness of standing up for what I believe in.

And as you are reading this post now you know I am OK.

An Impossible Dream

I am the lowest form of living things. Yes I am. As much as the low self-esteem goes I am disgusted with myself.

I punched out at 5.33 pm yesterday and dashed home as quickly as possible to catch up the evening sunlight – I wanted to jog and losing that darn 5 kg lard that I was talking about. But before you say ‘I knew it!’ let me level with you guys; I am a sappy, no-back bone human being or any kind of humanoid life form OK, so can we move on?

Suffice to say it in a sentence; I was taken down by a packet of chocolate chips, a cushy sofa and a rerun, back-to-back episode of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius instead.

O I didn’t even get to tie up my shoes lace.

So it may be time to adopt a different strategy and by that I mean, another list (sheesh!). I have come to realize now that by simply motivating myself with a pep talk is no longer works. I need a plan. A real good one.

1. Try piggyback it on something I do everyday so I can start making exercise a habit. Instead of driving home, I walk or maybe I can climb stairs everyday instead of taking a elevator. Hmmm…maybe in alternate days.

2. Never underestimate the importance of friendship. Once a week meet friends for a walk or jog. Find friends with same interest and Body Mass Index (BMI) and shake that jelly like there’s no tomorrow. Most importantly, we always have loads to catch up on – in a healthy way.

3. Print this post and read it over and over again just to remind myself how despicable I am. I know it’s extreme but people always say the body is one’s temple, but mine shouts ‘Colliseum’, so excuse me for being extreme.

If there’s anything I learn these days, apparently all these dieting/exercise business are much easier said than done. Knowing that we all have to eat well and exercise is just not enough anymore, otherwise, we would all be Kate Moss and Faizal Hussein, wouldn’t we all?

But that crazy talks, I am gonna rise like a phoenix from ashes and I will not be easily discouraged by the daunting task of dieting and exercises. So much of self-hating today and discipline is the order of the day. So no more Jimmy Neutron in the evening for me. I am gonna focus on my goal and try to remember that at the end of each day, I will find the results well worth it.

We’ll see what would happen tomorrow. Don’t worry I am not the suicidal type.

A Laugh Affair

A secretary, an assistant and their boss are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie appears to grant them each one wish. The secretary says, “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.

“I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life,” says the assistant. And poof! Just like that, he’s gone.

“You’re next,” the genie says to the boss. He says, “I want those two back in the office right after lunch.”

I laughed quietly as I read the caption of this Reader’s Digest cartoon. Somehow it made me forget about my worries for a second – Global warming, earth-menacing asteroids and the dangers of trans fats in Raya cookies.

I am kidding!

Coming back to work from a really long holiday must be depressing. It’s a torn between leaving honeymoon that we’ve come to fond and embracing bitter reality that awaits us at the office (And be a total nonchalance about it!)

Comes this Monday we will be welcoming a new batch of Management Trainees. 24 of them. They are a batch of young bright graduates that our recruitment unit had been scouring high and low for the pass six months and now they are dumping it on us. (I just hope they are not a bunch of snob)

By ‘dumping’ I mean the workloads. Now that they are our responsibilities, expect no less that 1001 things do to ‘serve’ them. – Classroom activities, motivation and teambuiding, attachment programmes, numerous sites visits from Westport to Ipoh – and all this need a proper, immaculate planning from our side.

And this sits ‘conveniently’ on other pressing works I need to do at the same time - Executive Tea Talk, Corporate Hari Raya Open House, Compliance Audit by SIRIM and a gazillion of other things that equally important.

Well, now since I am already in whiny mood, I guess I’ll go on talking about my deteriorating health conditions. Since after Raya, I haven’t been feeling really well. I think I am down with cold or something but as I said earlier, I can’t afford another day off from office, at least not until Christmas.

Being an optimistic freak that I am, thank God I know a way out – I laugh it off. Yes, in times like this I could use a good laugh. I know it sounds absurd but I read somewhere that a team of serious scientists (no pun intended) has found evidence that humor can tune our minds hence increases the memory and help us coping with stress better. So limber up your mind and wise up by having a laugh.

Hey did you hear the one about a secretary, an assistant and their boss?

Help Me With Wishes

Tragedy does happen in the most unfortunate times. In my case, 5 days after the ‘Day of Victory’ and no, praise to God, it didn’t happen on the road.

I gained 5 Kg, Yeap 5 kg but please do not be alarmed as I do have plan. Sorta ‘Pre-plan’ plan.

1. Swim 3 times a week.
That’s 4 laps or 20 minutes non-stop or whichever comes first for each session. Downside? Thinning hair. But hey, I’d go thinning figure over thinning hair anytime.

2. Jog/Run 4 times a week.
20 minutes non-stop around stray dog-free zone in the neighborhood. Possible snag? Stiff, aching right leg. Over aching back? . No contest.

3. Visit to Office Gym 3 times a week.
During lunch, normally I eat 15 – 20 minutes. Now it’s going to be a 5 minutes affair. No grinding. Swallow only.

4. Keep a Food Journal/Log.
I am going to record anything that passing my gag reflex. Details might be gruesome but O what I’d do for beauty. I mean health.

So how do I find 290 minutes in my busy, hectic, impossible week? I don’t. I cheat and I steal. Sacrifices need to be made. And if you think I am going to rest on my laurels once I lose that darn 5 kg, think again.

This ‘pre-plan’ plan is going to be my permanent fixture in my daily routine until well I can afford to hire my own personal trainer.

Wish me luck. I need all the luck I can get.

Of Love And Togetherness

Raya is also about togetherness, among other things. So I am glad that I was being able to see that in my family.



We are crazy about each other, al right, in metaphorically or literally speaking but Raya always brings us together. That’s why it is a little special day for me cause I know I can see loves abundantly in our home.



I guess when we are together it is much easier to love and to forgive and Raya is merely an excuse for us to be just that.

Togetherness is the essence of love and miracles are things you made up to describe it.

To each member of my family and friends I know and love dearly; I seek forgiveness for the wrongs I have done and I pray for miracles to brings us together forever.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI AND MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

Sincerely from the one you called;

Your Son/Brother/Uncle/Friend/Lover

Day Of Many Special Things

Some days are better than the other. So much better that they are so many reasons for you go out and celebrate. Like today. Who would imagine that today would be such an eventful day. Seriously guys. I am not kidding.

October 10, 2007 is the day of many celebrations. The day of many special things. So what's so special about today?

1. Happy Birthday Herman

Today is one of my close friends' birthday. Don't ask how old he is now. He likes it to be a secret, part of himself to be remained a mystery. Riiiiight!!! Anyway this 'star of the moment' earns 'close friend' status by simply being unwaveringly true to himself.....always. He always be there for his friends – whether they welcome it or not. He overanalyzes things and yet to find a balance between heart and brain. (Oops, that didn't come out the way I intended to be), and all of these make me love him more. Have a fantabulous Birthday, Dear and keep counting the blessings you have.

2. First Malaysian-To-Blast-Off-Into-Space Day

Things couldn't get more patriotic than this. Definitely bigger than buying RM2 mini Jalur Gemilang. I mean, when was the last time you felt paying taxes every year worth every single cent? How does the First Malaysian-Muslim-Male cosmonaut ever landed on International Space Station sound to you? I'd say it's a out-of-this-world ly good. So set your alarm today as our little 'Neil Amstrong' blast off into space with our canned, vacuum-packed and freeze-dried, Nasi Lemak and The Tarik. I just hope they don't litter.

3. World Mental Health Day.

That little strange things I do, wouldn't qualify me for a dedicated day in World Health Organization (WHO)'s calendar. We all do. We are all human, flawed and colorful in our own way and when I say that, I mean, there's no such thing as "normal". And today is about the day we celebrate the awareness of the "abnormalities" we have –so that we can 'distinguish between unusual behaviors we can tolerate and troublesome patterns we should try to fix'. So bring out the Gollum, Catwoman, Wilhemina or even Castello in you and let them fly. Sounds like a Halloween party for nuts eh? I'd say!

4. It's-Almost-Hari-Raya Day

The biggest celebration of all is coming on our doorstep. And I couldn't be more prepared than ever! Baju Melayu, check!, Songkok, Check!, Kasut, Check!, Instant Nasi Himpit, Check! Kuih Raya, Check!, Duit Raya, nanti-Check!,

And of course any special things that happened to you (that get you excited in the first place) wouldn't be completed with a bummer or two, right? In my case it is one big giant bummer, a huge dent in shield of hope, a giant puddle on a road of life......

5. My-Car-Road-Tax/Insurance-Up-For-Renewal Day

OOO..this is just great. Wonderful! Couldn't pick up a much better day. Must it be three day before Raya? Must it be on the day of WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY!!!??? (Please excuse my choppy sentences now that I can't breath*).

*Had problems controlling anger and impulsivity. Suffered from stress-related paranoia and had a pattern of unstable and intense personal relationships. In the end, turned to the dark side and transformed into the dark lord, calling myself............

DARTH VADER

Suddenly I don't feel like celebrating anymore.

Me And My Chest

I read something amusing on the newspaper yesterday, something that irked me. It’s about 'valley that run between two mountains’. Yes, that ‘cleavage’ to you, you sick perverts. What bothered me the most I guess, I felt like being mocked at.

"All cleavage is good cleavage – suitable for viewing, with one exception, male cleavage. Male cleavage is always “look away” cleavage, unless, that is, you happen to find Jell-O with hair on it appealing”

Yes, Yes I do have ‘Jell-O’ and it got hair on it OK!

I know this might sound sickeningly strange but I suddenly felt an unreasonable, unexplained urge to defend myself, err I mean the entire males population - whether they want it or not.

In a world striving for gender equality, I am enraged why males with ‘healthy-looking’ chest are being mocked at or is it because the fact that ‘it’ exclusively females’? Should I run a poll to find out?

Try walking in public, like buying something for Berbuka at Bazaar Ramadhan near your house - bare-chested and see what I mean. Believe me I tried that once and the scar from the experience will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I guess why I am suddenly interested in the subject is because of my sudden surge in weight lately and it is hard not to notice the ‘development’ around my chest area. I become more and more self-conscious and an article like that certainly wouldn’t help maintaining my sanity and self esteem. It does irritate me at some level.

I know you'd say it's a 'wake up call' for me but it’s the 'waking up' favor that I don’t really need at this moment, what more with festive season around the corner.

Man! Here I am blabbering about my cleavage while comes tomorrow, Malaysians will get to watch the nation’s first ever astronaut as he becomes the first Malaysian in outer space.

I must be awfully self-involved: It’s narcissistic to think that anyone would want to compliment my cleavage over national interest.

Since I am such a feast for the psychological mind, I might want to consider talking to a professional, right?

Sure I do, but I need to button up first.

Looking Up!

Forget about the vampires. Today things are looking up for me.

Finally today is Friday, and that means tomorrow I am going to pack my bags and fly to the moon, figurative speaking. Ain’t that the most fabulous feeling?

Work related things that I was complaining about yesterday weren’t as horrible as I tried to make them out to be. It wasn’t a big deal after all. Suddenly the word of ‘Drama Queen’ doesn’t sound too far away eh? But hey that’s a narcissistic blogging to you.

And O, did I tell you that my employer felt a little generous yesterday?



This could be very well the best organization I ever worked with or maybe the best employer in whole wide world. In a less than a month, we are showered again with free goodies – this time, in a full load of multi-box container.



This stuff could easily worth more than RM200 dude!



Ever felt like, as if you were receiving humanitarian relief from UN and NGO volunteers in major natural disaster site? That’s how it felt like at the office last morning. Chaotic but heart wrenching! At the end, everyone went home happy.

Yes, yesterday was filled with madness and chaos, but today I feel more relax but a little anxious. For whatever that I have been through for the past few days, I just can’t wait to celebrate Raya to the max and come back to work all keyed up. Ehem, maybe not so much about come-back-to-work just yet, Sheesh, I have not even officially on holiday.

So for friends who still have to wake up early next Monday, I have two words for you: Good-luck-to-ya! O wait that’s four.

Everything comes back into perspective and goes back the way it should be – my way! And I can now looking forward to being a big fat grizzly bear or vampires....or maybe both.

Things are really looking up me. Happy holiday!

Energy Vampires

I had a brutal day yesterday. You knew it was going to be not-so-rosy day ahead, when you overslept and missed your sahur. And anyone who knows me knows that ‘never mess with Mus when he’s hungry’. I get cranky easily. So I wasn’t on the top mood for rib tickling or poke-a- cheeks antics. I thought I was going to save all the energies I could save and be a big fat grizzly bear.

Never I thought it was going to be such a battle.

Yeap, energy vampires, as they call it, they are everywhere – people who make themselves feel better at our expense. They drained and sucked our energy good and wiped out the evidence like it never had ever happened.

And the worst thing was they came with a baggage, a truckload of extra things to do for you, all of the sudden, all at once, like a big giant wave or gazelle stampede. All screaming for attention just before the Big Friday.

O yes people, all these things happened two days, two days before my ultimate holiday of the year.

Man, I am exhausted.

But this post ain’t about who-did-what-to–whom. Lucky you, I am not kind of a guy who likes to lay open my problems at office or home in public, at least not on the Net. It’s just not my nature to go on shredding the details on any unfortunate events in my life over one-sided medium like this.

I still save some ‘what’s left’ of my dignity to myself. (err…maybe save that stupid neighbor of mine or that darn pancake). But if there’s any consolation, you get to enjoy harmless rambling why-me pleas and curses from me once in awhile.

O the beauty of blogging.

Tomorrow is only Thursday and I am already having out of body experience. Someone told me the real joy of having a great time is not on the real minutes or moment you are having it but on the long wait leading to that. But now I am not sure it’s true.

By the time you read this, I’d probably bury my head over a mountain, piles of paper works due to be cleared within 48 hours and I am definitely NOT enjoying every minute of it.

What Makes A Man

Beyonce cancelled her show in KL because she refused to ‘cover up’. Big deal. I cancelled my dinner plan last night cause the waitress refused to take my order without a shirt on. But let’s not go there.

OK before I say something contradict, let me be clear that I am no Ms Knowles’ fan. Never was, never will (We’re not discussing that now). And I am definitely not jumping into her defense about this whole Beyonce’s fan VS Malaysian authority thing but I say I totally understand her decision. Oops did I say that out loud? I meant to say I have sort of seen this coming.

There’s a reason why she’s propagating ‘bootylicious’ image and No, it’s nothing to do with food. It’s a concept of worshipping of a woman body, curves and all, and of course skimpy clothes come in a package. I guess she feels that she wouldn’t be able to live up to the pesona she molded (and get wealthy while at it) and disappoint her fan, had she adhered the rules.

In this world we live in now, clothes make a man not the other way around. It’s no longer about covering your private parts and your worst assets. It’s a statement people make to other people on what they believe in, be it ‘I am a secure and confident business woman’ or ‘ look away or I smash your face’

And you know what? Everyday I pick my clothes to work - not from Mom or a girlfriend and I am very proud of the clothes I own and the choices I make. I am probably not the best person to talk about clothes or even moral values, but I sincerely think you should be free to wear what you want because you are entitled to choices you make in your life.

We always make such a big fuss over a piece of clothes (or lack of it) and forget that there’s more to the story than meets the eyes. Does ‘Linda Onn’ ring a bell to you? (Unless if you’ve been living under a rock). I bet she’ll go kissy kissy with Beyonce now.

People don’t like to be told what he/she should wear. I don’t like people tell me what to wear. Period.

Now I wonder if Ms Bootylicious would wear this if she's allowed here.



Wait! Shoulders are NO NO, but that would be a sight!

post script: When I saw Beyonce on the cover after having lost 20lbs., I couldn’t help but wonder, “What is she gonna do with her “old” hot body?” it would be great if she could pass it on to me!”

No. 5 On My List

I have a list of things to do to make this Raya happier than the last year and I am gonna start now.

5. Send Raya cards to at least 5 people who I haven’t spoken with for more than 1 year.

Today I received a bundle of free Raya cards from HR. 30 of them. I think they are meant for our clients but heck, I am gonna use the card for self-serving purposes. I am gonna send them to my friends!

OK, now that I have the cards, the next thing I need is “at least 5 people who I haven’t spoken with for more than 1 year”. Well I have names. Make no mistake about that.

So I started listed down all those people that I ‘abandoned’ all this while. And to my horror, I used more paper than I thought I needed! Wow ‘I can’t be this cold-hearted’. I mean ‘hey, was it hate or we were simply drifted apart?’ I put my pen down and started to realize that this probably a bad idea after all. It’s really depressing to know that I have this so many people who hates me.

Then, I decided, instead of dwelling on the past mistakes I am gonna arrest my current friends. They deserve my cards more than others.

Well, who’s gonna be on the list? No No. I won’t categorize my friends into any sort of category. It’s offensive. Anyone who knows and considers me as his/her friend deserves the card and I will buy more if I failed to steal more free cards from HR vault. (Trust me, I’ve done that before)

I still remember when I was in high school there was some sort of competition among us on who got the most Raya cards and I always ended up as the big loser who received the least. Not that it bothered me a bit. It’s just hurtful sometime that how a stupid card can determine your worth. I don’t need to have more cards to validate my existence. But now I try to take this thing seriously and be the first one who sends the card instead of waiting for one.

It may mean nothing much to you but surely means a lot to me. It’s a way for me to say ‘hey I am here and I remember you’. So keep it, or better yet, send me a reply card and make my Raya this year a happy and special one.

I crossed out list no. 5 and hoped that next year I won’t have put this on my list anymore.