Me And My Chest

I read something amusing on the newspaper yesterday, something that irked me. It’s about 'valley that run between two mountains’. Yes, that ‘cleavage’ to you, you sick perverts. What bothered me the most I guess, I felt like being mocked at.

"All cleavage is good cleavage – suitable for viewing, with one exception, male cleavage. Male cleavage is always “look away” cleavage, unless, that is, you happen to find Jell-O with hair on it appealing”

Yes, Yes I do have ‘Jell-O’ and it got hair on it OK!

I know this might sound sickeningly strange but I suddenly felt an unreasonable, unexplained urge to defend myself, err I mean the entire males population - whether they want it or not.

In a world striving for gender equality, I am enraged why males with ‘healthy-looking’ chest are being mocked at or is it because the fact that ‘it’ exclusively females’? Should I run a poll to find out?

Try walking in public, like buying something for Berbuka at Bazaar Ramadhan near your house - bare-chested and see what I mean. Believe me I tried that once and the scar from the experience will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I guess why I am suddenly interested in the subject is because of my sudden surge in weight lately and it is hard not to notice the ‘development’ around my chest area. I become more and more self-conscious and an article like that certainly wouldn’t help maintaining my sanity and self esteem. It does irritate me at some level.

I know you'd say it's a 'wake up call' for me but it’s the 'waking up' favor that I don’t really need at this moment, what more with festive season around the corner.

Man! Here I am blabbering about my cleavage while comes tomorrow, Malaysians will get to watch the nation’s first ever astronaut as he becomes the first Malaysian in outer space.

I must be awfully self-involved: It’s narcissistic to think that anyone would want to compliment my cleavage over national interest.

Since I am such a feast for the psychological mind, I might want to consider talking to a professional, right?

Sure I do, but I need to button up first.