I Am OK

Revelation is good. Open up is great and letting go is the way to go. I know this first hand cause I did just that last night.

Sorry that I have been quiet of late. Last few days have been crazy. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t eat, well maybe not as much before. I couldn’t think about anything else but my problems. You see, they are very important to me cause you know, they are mine.

And before you cast me down and pass this as ‘another whiny post’, let me drop a bombshell here: they were times I had been thinking that I might as well be in the news – that bad.

I learned in a hard way that in order to fan away negativities around me and maintain an acceptable level of my sanity, I must learn to let go; the feeling that I am not worthy or deserved anything good in my life.

All my life I have been a Shakespearan actor (pardon the uncanny comparison), putting a front to what people expect of me just to fit in. But this has been eating me a lot lately and I have come to realize that there’s certain limitation to my dignity and self-belief.

So what I did yesterday, marked another milestone for me, I finally told a friend what and how her actions so far hurts me and why my feelings should matter to her.

It was shaky and unsure at first, but once I planted my feet firm on the ground, gathered as much Zen energy from my surroundings (I guess), I gradually felt empowered and much calmer.

Then the moment of truth……..

Boy, am I glad I have gone through with that. It’s an adrenalin rush of not knowing what the consequences are and the sensational feelings of relief and gladness - all rolled into one. I feel a truckload lighter.

Had I chose any other way I guess I won’t be able to know and experience the power of revelation and joyfulness of standing up for what I believe in.

And as you are reading this post now you know I am OK.