Saying NO

An e-mail I received on July 30, 2007:

A trip to Fraser's Hill (since can't get one in PD) will be organised on
second weekend of this August (10-12 August 2007). A 4-room
bungalow has been booked for only RM16 per night. And
convenience sake, insya-Allah kita bertolak awal2 pagi 11 Ogos.
Once again, please reply, latest by 31 July 2007.
And no vague answer ya, Mus. hehehe.
Only YES or NO.

My immediate reply:

Morning,

YES to karaoke
NO to Fraser Hill

p/s sorry if i sound kekwat.

The reply back:

No lah... I like this tone better
Ok, thanks for your prompt response.

We often afraid to say No to our friends cause we don’t want to be labeled ‘snooty’ or worse, we won’t get any invitation to social-do anymore. So we ended up giving ‘vague’ replies in hope of sudden twist of fate and they’ll soon understand. But most of the time that doesn’t happen.

‘I love to join, but….’, ‘I’ll confirm later….’, ‘Please count me in….’

The truth is, with few exceptions, we won’t and can’t make it at all. So what with the false hope?

Don’t hide behind lies and ambiguous, instead be honest and firm. If you really can’t make it say so. You don’t even have to explain yourself. They will understand. Like one of my close friend used to say ‘we are not kids anymore’.

Give yourself a huge leap of ‘I am sorry’ by saying ‘ ‘I’ll make it up to you guys later’ or ‘I’ll make time for you guys next time’ and get the respect you deserve from your friends.

Surely, hanging out with your friends once in a while can be as important as other things in your life too. So find the time for the important things. You know you can learn to do whatever you wish and do what you set your mind to do.

And how you can say No to that.